Fed Up Fridays: School's Out.Why Am I Still The Chauffeur?

Can you take me to my play date? Can you pick me up at Maya’s house? Can you take me to the lacrosse store? Can you drop me off for my sleepover? Can you drive me to the mall? Any of these questions sound familiar?

Lately, as my kids get older, I’ve been feeling a bit more like a chauffeur than a mom. Drive me here. Drive me there. Pick me up now. Drop me off later. Can you give Sarah a ride home? Can John hitch a ride to the game? Don’t get me wrong. I love my kids, and I dig their friends, but my head is spinning. Heck, I might as well just spring for a stretch limo with disco lights now. Guess you might say that the chauffeur gig comes with the territory, but that doesn’t mean I’m necessarily happy about it.

I accept responsibility for wanting my kids to have well-rounded lives, and for scheduling, ok, maybe overscheduling, all of these activities, but do I have to be the driver all the time? Really? Why can’t it be someone else’s mom or dad, you know, the one who always sits at home all comfy sipping lemonade and reading a book on the patio?

Now I get that the school year is busy. During those months, I don my chauffeur hat after 3pm. The moment school lets out, it all begins…The Y. Lacrosse practice. Play dates. Guitar lessons. Girl Scouts. Auditions. Rehearsals…and it doesn’t let up until dinnertime or sometimes even after. I swear, there’s a permanent curve in the driver’s seat of my car from sitting and driving so much.

So, you’d think that it gets better in the summer, but let me tell you, it doesn’t. In fact, it’s worse. Summer time gives my kids license to ask for rides all day, but instead of after school classes, its pool parties and play dates. I guess I could say no. That would be a good solution, wouldn’t it? But there’s a big part of me that wants my kids to have fun and be safe, and if I am the driver I know who is in control.

My husband shares the duties when he can, but when daddy says “no,” that’s it. Our three kids know that I am the head chauffeur and that wiggle room is always there. If mommy can take you, you are golden.

When I was growing up, it was the same with my parents, except during my teen years, when the parties started extending beyond midnight. One night my mother put her foot down and told me I would have to find a ride home on my own. When my girlfriend and I couldn’t find a ride, we ended up walking home. When my mother caught wind of it, guess what, she was back to being the official chauffeur.

Every once in a while, I get a little sympathy from my kids. “When I turn 16 and get my driver’s license, you won’t have to drive me around,” my 14-year old reminds me. But little does she realize that scenario will open up a whole new can of worms.

Should I be fed up with driving my children all over town? How should I handle it? How do you get somebody else to share in the driving?