How Can I Help My Daughter Deal With a Serious Crush?

She’s having trouble finishing homework, eating, sleeping and concentrating. What’s a mom to do? 

My 13 year old daughter, Allison, has fallen hard for Jimmy M.  He’s the captain of her schools’ track team.  He’s one year older, popular, plays guitar, can pretty much sketch any animal and oh yeah….he’s adorable too.  I should know, I’ve seen his videos on Youtube.  He’s the perfect blend of Ashton Kutcher and James Maslow (from “Big Time Rush”).  She’s been admiring him from afar during science lab and orchestra but hasn’t had the courage to approach him as he’s ‘going out’ with the, quote unquote, ‘prettiest girl on red team.’  It’s so “16 Candles”. 
 

Allison’s been having trouble finishing her homework, chores, eating, sleeping, and concentrating in general as she’s been mooning over this boy for the past three weeks.  She told me yesterday that she wanted to join a local youth group.  I was really impressed till I found out why:  Jimmy belongs to it.  It’s at the local Methodist Church.  We’re Jewish, so try explaining that to grandma!  We are Reform but she might just be taking it a little too far. 
 

Just kidding, I’m all for the Youth Group.  In fact, I explained to her that this could be a wonderful opportunity for her to get to know him better and possibly meet other kids.  I’ve had several chats with her about her crush and have been trying to help her through it as it can be a tortuous, painful yet magical experience.  It’s definitely a rite of passage for any teen. 
 

I told her about my first crush:  John Brewster.  OMG!  I can remember it like it was yesterday!  He was my older cousin’s boyfriend.  He was cute, had great abs and used to give me noogies.  Uuuggh.  If he only knew how I used to melt when he patted me on the head.  I used to fantasize about how he’d toss my beautiful cousin aside and marry me.  And why not?!  I was 11!

I googled teenage crushes and found a list of strategies to help teens cope with crushes:

1. Confess your crush to your friends and ask them to distract you – I employed her BFF, who already knew about Jimmy M., on this one;
2. Throw yourself into schoolwork to make sure you don’t fall behind (and who knows, maybe by standing out you’ll catch your crush’s attention).  Any parent would love this one;
3. Take up a hobby that will get your teen out of the house and get them moving – good advice in general;
   

1. Give yourself enough time to fantasize about your crush, but don’t let it interfere with your real life – not as easy as it sounds.

Hope these help you and your teen!  I’ll keep you posted on any developments with Allison’s crush.

Do you have any tips for me? Please???