Teen Dating

My son will be 16 in a few weeks. He’s excited to enter this new phase in his life. It’s a new chapter that will open him up to the world, not because of driving, but because of dating. Although many of his friends began dating in middle school, I didn’t allow it. I didn’t believe he was mature enough to handle dating at that time. However, he is now.

Over the years, my teen and I have witnessed how dating has changed his friends. We’ve heard their stories and witnessed the emotional rollercoaster they’ve gone through firsthand. They may have had adult physiques, but mentally, they were still children. They were not prepared for dating.

I can tell you from those conversations that teens are searching, as many adults are, for love, acceptance and a sense of belonging.  They must receive that at home first before they enter the world of dating. Although this in no way guarantees they won’t make any mistakes, it does provide them with a comparison, an ideal of what love, acceptance and belonging should look like.

Sadly, many of the mistakes I’ve witnessed are because teens have no example of real love and acceptance. They accept emotionally and physically abusive mates because no one has explained what is acceptable. They become sexually active because they believe that is the only way they will fit in or that another person will love them. They are seduced by “worldly” teens/adults because they are seeking guidance in all the wrong places.

As parents, we have more influence than we realize. We teach with our words and actions. We set the tone with our boundaries. Our teens may grumble and complain but ultimately we are their first examples of what a healthy relationship should look like. Stay involved and use your influence, while you can… while they’ll listen.