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Could Your Zip Code Affect An ADHD Diagnosis?
My Son’s ADHD Diagnosis Was a Relief and a Starting Point for Progress
I always knew my son was wired differently, I just wished I acted on the signs sooner.
When my son was in preschool he had created a bit of a reputation for himself. His name was said by his teachers so much, it’s understandable how he could start off his academic life thinking the world revolved around him.
I’m not sure if my son’s teachers had my number on speed dial but I would receive calls at work to come get my child at least twice a week. Or they would read me a list of unruly conduct he was guilty of on any particular day.
I was quick to catch-on that it was not the “norm” for a pre-school aged child to be sent home so frequently and even worse to be kicked out of one day care center after another.
During one of my son’s pediatrician visits I sat patiently in the waiting room reading the colorful posters that covered the walls. The posters had charts of the “good kids” and the “other” kids. The “other kids” column asked if your child: fidgets, talks too much, and if they are impatient and impulsive, etc. – if so, then they are likely ADHD.
“My son has every issue in this column”, I would tell the doctor. I said this on more than one occasion. Each and every time the doctors would reply with “He’s too young. No need to worry about that now. Wait until elementary school, if there’s an issue you’ll know then.”
Great! I could find comfort in knowing that nothing could be wrong with my child because the doctor who is a professional told me so. More importantly, I deeply wanted to hear that everything was fine.
Upon reaching second grade, my son would be officially diagnosed with ADHD.
At the time I felt like I had won something special! “ADHD- YES!!” I rejoiced! I felt excited to have a title to define what was going on. His official diagnoses way back then when was “ADHD co-morbid with Oppositional Defiance Disorder”.
To finally have a title, some might call a label, meant that we finally had something to work with. We had something to fix and try to heal.
Over the years the journey has been a true adventure. Our trial & error dance has included a variety of medications such as Adderall, Concerta, Strattera, and Ritalin—along with a little meditation and a whole lot of prayer.
Today my son is 13-years old in the 9th grade. He is also academically gifted and did so well last year that he was skipped ahead a grade. Because his diagnoses came at such a young age we are currently in the process of having him reevaluated.
Looking back, I wish I would have insisted on being heard.
I knew in my soul that my son was wired differently than his peers. By choosing to accept what I wanted to hear instead of what I needed to hear, I lost precious time in aiding him with tools he needed to a successful student.
Today I know better. No matter whom the authority is, no matter how many degrees are up on the wall. Nobody knows my son better than I. I am his specialist, his advocate. I am his mother.
Michelle Bond is a freelance writer based in Northern Virginia and a proud parent of her very spirited 13- year old son. Connect with her at www.CoffeeBreakDMV@Blogspot.com or on Twitter: @1CoffeeBreak
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You are an AMAZING Mom. You stepped up and found a way to help your son, I bet it wasn't easy.
I struggled with ADD my whole life and my mother *never* stood up for me. I was always in trouble because I was smart and finish my work early. I'd get into trouble when I got caught reading books for pleasure (not school work related), bug my friends, or (worse) list every factual error my teacher made that day, find the proof in our books that they weren't right and I was, and correct them on it. I can't imagine having me as a child. But to me, a wonderful unique quality about ADD people is that we're always interested in something, become an expert on it, and move on to the next point of interest. Us ADDs should only be out of work limited by little, because we're all passionate, educated people. i've never met an ADD person that wasn't. And you know what, the devestatingly introverted Isaac Newton would be probably diagnosed with with Asberger's Syndrome today, just as surely as Einstein, as mathemetical genius, would have been diagnosed with ADD. He constantly failed his elementary school math classes.
Good job for standing up for your son.
I was diagnosed at 27, while in grad school, for (guess what?) social work- determined to help kids just like how I was. My mother can't have normal conversation to this day- continue to stand up for your son! He will love you and appreciate it. You are a great parent, thanks for this article. You are a perfect example of how a to parent a child with special needs, a learning disorder, or anything that makes "wired differently than other kids," and other parents have a lot to learn from you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for this. (especially after Sarah Maizes' article where she called her older daughter a b* instead of trying to see both of her daughter's sides: just because she happened to identify with the younger sibling due to her own past personal issues- that made me so sad and I had to double check to see if was my mom- not Ms. Maizes wrote it).
My family didn't have drug problems: our whole family has mental health problems but our's parent's mental diseases were kept a secret from us and from the rest of the family until I was grown. At least I felt better knowing I had been abused by a person with serious mental deficiencies, and that's why things happened the way they did. It just took until she was in her 50s and I was in my late 20s until she got a diagnosis. Trust me, it is important for mental health to be taken care of too! Thank you for exploring this topic- from a person that suffers from mental problems (panic disorder, depression, generalized anxiety disorder, as well as adult ADD) If my parents had gotten me help as a kid- there was no limit to what I could have accomplished. SAVING FACE FOR YOUR FAMILY AT THE COST OF YOUR FAMILY HELPS NO ONE.
Good to see this kind of advice here.
My son was also diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. He had been kicked out of 2 daycares by 3 years old. It was a normal occurrence for them to call to pick him up; one day I dropped him off at 8 a.m., went to work and by 8:20 they called to tell me he was out of control and I had to get him immediately. By age 4 he was on medication, at a daycare that specialized in kids with behavioral problems and was doing so much better the daycare wondered why he needed special care. It's been a rocky road, he is also now 13, but he is getting by. He is also extremely smart in the subjects he is interested in (key words "interested in") and also loves to read, read, read. We're trying to keep him along the positive path and take pride in his work.
The politics of America with the acceptance by harried moms has ALLOWED THEIR CHILDREN ESPECIALLY BOYS TO BE LABELED ADHD
Sometimes we allow it because then ANY AND ALL INCIDENTS CAN THEN BE BURDENED OFF OUR SHOULDERS AND STATED, HE HAS XXXX
I will not go into the politics of it as the real bottom line is your own honesty your own brutal honest
restless talkative etc he might just be smarter than what is going on and bored to tears
put him on drugs AND BAM HE IS NOT ONLY LABELED but MIGHT NEVER REACH HIS OR HERS FULL CREATIVE POSSIBILITIES BECAUSE SOME tired.uncaring political motivated non intelligent etc "adult" wont stand for it anymore and yes it now burdens you so you go along with it
good luck NOT SO MUCH WITH THE CHILD BUT YOUR LEVEL OF SELF HONESTY ON WHAT REALLY SHOULD BE DONE WITH YOUR CHILD WHO IS PART OF YOUR SOUL
THINK ABOUT IT!!
All I saw was ADD and I went with it
Didnt mean to sound mean in that post
I just detest adults that might just not be able to cope and label your child any child just to get them out of their hair
tomorrow my 5 yr old son and i go to our follow up visit his dr diagnosed him the same but also was very thourough and had labs done this will be interesting im looking forward to having my bright happy polite son again soon
this is disgusting. the poor child is active and intelligent. he obviously does not have a broken brain in need of medication. what he needed were developmentally appropriate movement breaks and a school designed for brighter children.