The Side Effects Of Single Parenting...On The Parents!

I used to think it was the children who suffer in a divorce...now I find it's really the parents of teenagers who suffer the most. Not only do we have to contend with lawyers, legalities and the loss of love, but now we have to deal with our teenagers and their already existing angst ramped up to the third power due to the divorce.

Today, my teenager was very annoyed with me because I made (excuse me, "forced") her to do her chores. They had the day off of school for parent teacher conferences (yet another excuse to close school) so it was the perfect opportunity to catch up on household chores...which for some reason she feels she shouldn't have to participate in...like she's a guest or something. So she threw a temper tantrum and told her father to come get her when I asked her to help rake leaves.

Now this is quite normal, children pitting their parents against one another in order to get what they want. However, when the parents are going through a divorce, this becomes the height of manipulation and forces one (me) to have to communicate with someone (him) when they (I) don't want to.

It was awkward. There I was explaining myself when I really shouldn't have to. He should have immediately taken my side so she can't divide and conquer. However, someone (he) is not emotionally mature enough to see the bigger picture and used the situation as an opportunity to drive a wedge between my daughter and I. Mr. Fabulous strikes again. I actually heard him say to her, "Your mom wants you to do your chores." Subtext - I don't, I'm the fun one who takes you out to breakfast every other week, I'm cool, she's boooor-ing.

There is nothing worse than constantly being mean mommy when he gets to play mac daddy. He gets to visit them every other week and take them out for a couple of hours. It's all fun when daddy's around...but being a single mom is quite another story. I get the privilege of disciplining them, taking care of them 24/7, cooking, chauffeuring, cleaning and amidst all this I still have to work like a fiend so I can afford to pay for everything. It's a constant battle. Am I whining enough? I'll stop now.

Alas, don't worry dear reader. She did not get out of doing her chores and raking the leaves despite all her machinations. In fact, she was assigned double duty today for all her under-handedness. She did apologize for all the drama and stress she caused. When asked if she was aware of just how much trouble she caused she replied, "Yes, but I really wanted my own way." At least she's honest. Totally deceitful and completely manipulative yet honest. Does that make sense?

So there you have it - being the single parent of a teen can be doubly difficult…and teens know it. They make us doubt ourselves, our sanity and they cause chaos and drama with exes. They're smart enough to take advantage of situations...and they usually do.

How has your teen taken advantage of you and your sitiuation lately? Please share. Go on, step up to the Mom Confessional.