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Should Parents Allow Under Age Drinking On Their Watch?
Some parents think they can teach their teen to drink in moderation or reason that under age drinking is safer if a parent is present. We asked our expert counselor to weigh in.
Can Parents Teach Their Kids to Drink in Moderation?
By Wendy Young, LMSW, BCD
Stories of under age drinking parties, alcohol poisoning, alcohol-related fatalities and drunk-driving tragedies with teens have made news headlines for decades. The fear of all of the above have made many good parents decide to allow their teens to drink under their watchful eye. The rationale parents often have for this is that it offers them some control over their teen’s under age drinking, as well as the environment in which the teen consumes the alcohol. They often believe they can help their child learn to drink in moderation by monitoring and controlling the amount of alcohol ingested. Under their watchful eye, parents believe they can teach their teen to become moderate, responsible adult drinkers.
Under age drinking seems harmless enough. But is it, really?
Parents may be interested to know that there are several reasons why this practice may not be in their teen’s best interest. Over the past decade there have been a number of studies by experts in the field, which should make us take pause and rethink this approach. Following are some facts you may want to bear in mind as you consider your teen’s health and well-being.
Brains, Teens and Alcohol
1. Teenaged brains are not equal to adult brains. When you add alcohol to a teen brain, it’s going to have a much different effect than it would on a mature brain. This is so for physiological and biological reasons. Namely, our brains are not fully matured until our mid-twenties. Alcohol impacts developing brains in more profound ways, and those effects have lasting consequences.
2. The earlier a brain is exposed to alcohol, the greater the chance of developing an addiction. When we know this is a fact, would we willingly want to chance a future addiction for our teen? In trying to teach moderation by allowing teen drinking at home, we may unwittingly be setting the teen up for the very thing we were trying to prevent.
3. Under age drinking can create changes in the frontal cortex, the hippocampus (memory center) and white matter, leading to decreased cognitive function, executive function, memory, attention and spatial skills, which can, ultimately, lead to bad planning, decision-making and impulse control problems. Why tempt fate?
4. When alcohol is introduced at an earlier age and the above stated changes are taking place in the brain, there are several detrimental factors at hand. Teens whose brains are being shaped by an early introduction to alcohol may be missing out when it comes to developing fundamental social skills, critical thinking skills and essential coping skills that they will need across their lifespan.
Some parents may argue that teens will continue to engage in drinking behaviors, whether they allow it in their home or not. This may be true, but does that provide the rationale to become permissive? Or is it better to share with your teen what we know to be true about under age drinking, and to impart the facts, along with your own values and expectations?
The research might suggest that we’d be better off supporting our youth to explore their strengths, identify goals and focus on building healthy bodies and minds. This appears to be by far a more sound approach to raising a teen who later in life chooses drinking in moderation as a choice.
Have you considered letting your teen drink under your watchful eye? What do you think of parents who consider under age drinking okay when they are present?
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It really depends on the state. A child can drink with a parent in a bar at age 10 in Wisconsin
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