A lot of what we hear see and sometimes say in the parenting world is all about how much of a challenge our kids are--especially the teens. We grouse about how rotten they are; how much they talk back, talk “bad”, or not talk to us at all. I know I am guilty as charged. Parents and kids alike have been Pavlov-conditioned to expect the worst as adolescence approaches. Not that they don’t talk back, talk “bad”, or not talk to us at all but sometimes, every once in a while, through the muck and mire of teendom, shines the bright light of occasion to celebrate who they are and applaud their child achievements.
Today, for example, my son’s school held their “Roundtable” presentations. At the end of every semester, students are given a chance to present projects which demonstrate what they’ve learned. My kid used a mock profile of an adolescent male to conduct an experiment which showed how digestion takes place; created a formula to calculate how many triangles occupied the space of a three-dimensional cube and wrote a short story involving a character from one of the books in his independent reading catalogue. He had me at the cool experiment and totally blew me away with the whole math thing - I do NOT heart math unless calculating the sale price of a pair of shoes. This was a great child achievement. He spoke clearly and confidently and with a sense of mastery. He fielded questions with the skill of a seasoned politician and responded with Dr. Oz like ease. It was a beautiful thing to witness. I was so proud of him. At the end of the math demonstration, I thanked his teacher for all her hard work and she thanked me for having such a great kid.
When we got to the car, I not only shared with him why I was so proud but why he should be proud of himself. We had pizza from his favorite spot for dinner. As parents, we can find ourselves stuck in the cycle of “What’s wrong with this kid??!!” because they do make mistakes and do dumb stuff despite all the smart stuff we try to get them to do. That’s indisputable fact. And sometimes it can be a challenge to find those moments when they are less heavy sigh “this kid” and more hive five “this kid” but when we do, we need to acknowledge it, celebrate it and shout it to the world. This aids in building their self-esteem. Recognizing their moments of triumph enables them to have security in their abilities, and provides them with confidence to set goals and courage to reach them. Let them know when you see them at their best because they are teens and who knows how long before the urge to cheer becomes the urge to choke-again-happens.
How do you celebrate child achievements?
