Many adults I know spend a lot of time on Facebook, updating their every move; from what they ate for breakfast, to the finer points of their baby’s last diaper change. With this much over-sharing, imagine how hard it is for our children to “edit” themselves and use the site properly. Having a Facebook account should be seen as both a privilege and a responsibility; the more educated we are as parents, the better we can teach our kids how to navigate the site safely. That being said, here are five tips to keep your kids safe on Facebook:
1. Teach Your Children that there are No Take-Backs!
Don’t assume that because your child understands technology, he or she understands the implications of using it. Remind your children to always “self-reflect before they self-reveal." Basically, they should ask themselves, “Am I sure I want to post this thought/picture/movie/activity?" “Will it be okay if it reaches unintended people like teachers, college admissions officers, relatives, or potential employers?” Once it’s out there, anyone who can see a post can also copy it, alter it, misuse it, or forward it. Like cockroaches in a nuclear war… this stuff can live forever!
2. Have a Common Sense Media Contract
I know this sounds a bit astute, but you won’t need a lawyer, I promise. This agreement simply holds your child accountable for their actions, and allows them to demonstrate why they’re worthy of having a FB account. Here are a few rules that should make the list:
I will only accept friend requests from people I know in real life. This is uber-important because studies show [4] that more than half of FB users, age 13-17, say they don’t personally know all of their friends. Anyone who doesn’t know your child, and is taking the time to contact them, is probably bad news.
I will not share personal information like phone numbers, addresses, locations of parties and my whereabouts on FB. Sure, we all like to know where our kids are every minute of the day, but the whole world doesn’t need to be privy to such information.
I will not write hurtful things about anyone. Yep, common sense, but worth a discussion.
3. Review Settings with Your Child
Customize privacy settings– the safest setting is to “allow friends only” access to your information, pictures, and updates.
Make sure they’re honest about their age. There are different settings for minors, so make sure they aren’t claiming to be 18 or older if they’re not.
Be aware of FB changes. Whenever changes are made, the settings can be reset to defaults! I know, they don’t make it easy. So, make sure your kids continue to reset their preferences in the privacy and the application settings area.
4. Use the Block and Report features
Recent media coverage has made “bullying” a term most kids are familiar with. This makes your job easier. Explain “cyber-bullying,” and to report/block anyone who posts inappropriate or abusive information. This includes strangers trying to friend them.
Important note: If you report a message as harassment, it will automatically remove this contact from your friend list. People your kids block won't be able to find them in searches, view their profiles, or contact them with pokes, wall posts, or personal messages. Blocks are confidential and those “blocked” WILL NOT be notified.
To “block” someone, put a name on the block list at the bottom of the Privacy Settings [5] page, or check "Block This Person" when you report them.
Most importantly, tell your child not to react or respond directly to someone harassing them. They should just block, report, and then tell a family member or authority if they feel threatened.
5. Friend your children
Okay, you may be the last person your child wants to friend, but make it a requirement. The key is not to be weird about it, i.e. responding to their updates or tagging them in baby pictures while they’re in the bath or on the potty. It’s mortifying enough to be friends with your parents—don’t push it.
You won’t be alone in “friending” the offspring: 76% of parents [4] on FB are friends with their teens,and many parents require their children to accept their requests if they’re under 18.
Important note: Remember, your kids can also see what YOU post. Yep, you’re the role model here, soyou may not want to post complaints about the kids, the hubby, or the housework. You may also want to avoid putting up those pictures of yourself at a party where you had one too many.
PS Studies show [4], Dads make better friends. When asked, twice as many kids would prefer to “unfriend” their moms over their dads.
These tips should be a great foundation for your kids’ foray into Facebook.
What’s worked for you on Facebook? Are you “friends” with your kids? When did you allow them to join the site?
