Are Online Games Safe For my Tween?

I’m not going to lie. I spend way too much time on Facebook and Twitter. The positive side of that is I know enough about the sites to tell my tween exactly what I expect of him when he’s using them (well, using Facebook. I don’t allow him to have a Twitter account). No posting pictures without my approval, no accepting friend requests without my knowledge (his Facebook account is linked to my email, so I know when someone asks to friend him), and no talking about places that he’s going to be in the future – he can only talk about places he has been.

But when it comes to online gaming? I just don’t know enough to make many rules. Are there safe online games?

I’m not a gamer. I don’t “get it."

But I do get safety. And I want my son, Michael, to be safe.

Here’s what I do know: When it comes to Michael’s PlayStation3, there are three ways to play. A Private Match is when my son invites someone on his PlayStation friend list to play a game with him. Strangers can’t ask to join their game as it’s invite only. A Player Match is when there are no friends available for a private match, so my son jumps into a game with several other online gamers. It’s possible to “mute” other players in this game setting. A Wager Match is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a player match with ”fake money” bets. The money can be used to buy items in the games. 

Of course, all families are different, but here are our rules for ensuring involvement in safe online games:

1. Only enter Private Matches with people that you know in real life. That means that Michael is allowed to add his friends at school and sports as PlayStation friends, and he’s not allowed to add anyone that he doesn’t know in person.

2.  While in a Player Match, mute (or silence) those who are disrespectful. Michael knows that “disrespectful” means anyone who uses profane language or picks fights with others. I have found that usually, those who fall under this category are annoying to others who are playing the game and end up being “muted” fairly quickly.

3. Touch base with Mom and Dad about anyone asking you questions. Does it mean that we’re going to make him stop playing? No. But we may get out some headphones and listen in for a while.

Good to know—Players have the option to report others who are using offensive language, are bullying players, or are otherwise being disrespectful.

What kind of rules do you have set up to ensure involvement in safe online games? Do the methods of play differ between various game systems?