My 8-Year-Old Boy / Girl Twins Share a Room. Why Do People Say This Is Wrong?

There is nothing wrong with it as long as they do not undress in front of each other

My boy/girl twins turn 7 next month and share a 2 bedroom house with their father and I, so I am in the same boat! We have been in the process of trying to put bedrooms in the basement for 3 years now but have run into road block after road block, and every year come check-up time their pediatrician reminds us that it really is time to separate them. For the past 2 years, they have slept on bunk beds, with the boy on the top bunk and the girl having frilly pink "princess privacy curtains" around the bottom bunk. This works surprisingly well most days and gives both of them places to go where they don't have to deal with each other for a while!
-Paulette

I think it is fine. In a perfect world, they wouldn't have to share a room, but with the situation you have describe, I think you have no choice. All you can do is work with what you have, and in this situation, I truly don't think it is that big of a deal. I actually think they are okay sharing a room until they are teenagers, especially if you put up a partition. Don't feel bad. With all of the things you need to worry about with raising children these days, I wouldn't waste too much time worry about this particular matter.

Well here is one opinion... First of all C.P.S. has at least in our state set an age of 7 being the longest kids of the opposite sex can share a room. But there are times and situations when maybe a parent simply can't afford a bigger place or I have even seen where a single parent and her 2 kids of the opposite sex had to move back in with her parents and all three share a room. Here is what I would try and do if I were in your shoes. If you have no way to give them each a room of their own or they enjoy sharing a room and do not wish to be separated... if the room is big enough I would put a wall tall enough to divide the space in half and decorate and give each side an individual look. The biggest issue is for a child to have enough privacy and be able to get some alone time if they need it. I even saw on the Nate Burkuss show where in one instance he took a set of bunks for twin girls one was a tomboy the other a girlie girl and painted the bottom half of the room one color and style and the top the opposite. It matched but gave them individuality. I also saw how an older 12 year old boy who had shared a room with a younger disabled brother decided to instead move into his sister's closet so he could have his own space and give the disabled brother his own room. Well Nate opened up the closet, gave them each a wardrobe and created a wall in between the older boy's space and his sister's, plus he also had a desk that fit underneath his bed which was the height of a top bunk bed. It The room for each was small but adequate. Just some idea's. Hope you find what works for you.

i will never understand why people are so ridiculous. so if someone sees their sibling in underpants they will suddenly be swept away with incestuous feelings? is that the problem? or is it because they are terrified that having boys stuff and girls stuff laying the same floor is going to cause gender confusion? good grief. what on earth do people think is going to be an issue? take turns changing, and it's NO different than is it were 2 girls/2 boys sharing a room.

I believe you should leave them alone. A friend I grew up with had twin siblings (M/F) and they shared a bedroom until they turned 16. They stayed close even as adults and are still best friends.

There was a time not long ago that it was common to have your children sharing a room right into the early teen years, then the government social assistance agencies got involved and the the law makers influenced by the government social agencies and thus those standards have became common. It is not the law of the land however. people generally come under the microscope and are required to meet those standards after social services have been called in to the home for one reason or another. Social services benifit society and the general saftey of children etc however do nto forget that they are made up of people like you and I and itis some times human nature to get carried away with the power that the position holds. Often the media highlights the horrid conditions i a home and the children were removed for their saftey etc but rarely does society see media coverage of the situations where there were no problems and the complaints were based on false information or over zealist social workers and the social services remove the childern un necissarily. Of course some would also add, seperate the sex's s at early ages that they do not experiment with natural developing sexual curiousity. A parent knows their child, so you know when they need their own room.

I think it is fine. I shared a room with my younger brother several times as we were Army Brats and
we got along just fine. Trust yourself and do not let the negativity of others make you doubt your decision.
Mother knows best!

IWe have a three bedroom house with grandma in one of the bedrooms so my 12 year old daughter and 9 year old son share a room. I have found that they get along better than most other siblings I know. We are now in the process of trying to figure out how to add on another room as my daughter will be 13 soon and I feel she needs her privacy but she has already told me 'it's no big deal'. Don't worry about it so much!!!

Also, all the people who are saying this is wrong and implying that something inappropriate, like incest, might happen are, first of all, assuming that both your kids are straight, and at that age, who knows. They are also ignoring the fact that incest can occur between same sex siblings, even otherwise straight ones. Actually, the only victim of sibling incest who has shared their story with me was a male who was molested by his brother. The older boy also molested their sister, but his brother got the worst of it because they shared a room, giving him easier access. And in that case, the whole family knew that something was wrong with my friend, they just didn't want to dig deep enough to find out the truth. Regardless of the room sharing situation, the most important part is paying attention to your kids and making sure they know they can talk to you about anything.

I believe that nothing is wrong with that. I have a 10 Year old boy and a 9 year old girl and they share a room. They're like best friends.

Craig Robinson (Michelle Obama's brother) wrote a book describing how he and Michelle lived in the same room until college......a long, narrow room where their beds were head to head. The parents slept in the livingroom. These two terrific kids turned out fine. The book has some wonderful information about raising good, happy kids.

No matter what you do -- even the most mundane and mainstream things -- there are going to be people who think you're doing it wrong. For some reason many people have this odd fixation on other people's children and how they should be raised. Just smile and nod, save your breath, and go on doing what works for you. I've gone through the whole hmm-how-do-I-cram-this-many-kids-into-this-many-rooms dilemma myself, after my ex-wife died and I doubled the number of kids in my house. Sometimes there's just no one right way to do things.

Well, in some states this is illegal. And if someone reports you, you could be in trouble. So, I had the same problem, in my state it was illegal, so I put my daughter in with me. I know you don't want to, but I seriously enjoyed her being there.( I had an L-shaped room w/a kind of alcove, we each had our own twin beds.) Not until she was a junior in high school did she get her own room.

"couldn't care less" not "could care less"

I just thought I would add the point that even same-gender kids, want their own privacy from each other. Just because you put two boys in the same bedroom does NOT mean they would welcome getting undressed in front of each other.

I have a 2yr old boy and a 5yr old girl. Even before me and my husband had kids we planned to have them both in the same bedroom. We have 3 bedrooms and use the spare as a playroom. We have always both thought that having them in the same rooms creates a bond between siblings and that in the future this will keep our family closer. We think that this way they are in a way forced to interact with one another. They are very protective of each other, and we do find that they are inseperable. The moment either one is not in view of the other, they are asking about the where abouts of the other. We have decided that until our oldest turns 10 we will keep it this way unless either of them ask to be seperated. They are fine with it now, but ofcourse they are too young to know the diference.

Here is my take. Your kids are YOUR kids. Too often, people feel that they have a right and an "obligation" to stick their noses where it doesn't belong. Children are adaptive by nature, and the bond between twins is quite strong (something most non-twin parents can't quite understand). Your kids will wake up one day and want some privacy, and there will come a time when they will begin to do the things that you most fear. Until then, let them be twins.

"Let the kids lead" someone said. This is unreal. Children that age are curious and should not be in the same room. But then again, we live in a society where the children tell the parents what to do because the parents don't have the guts to parent.

If these kids need privacy, then perhaps a simple partition will do. I knew M-F twins and they did not get along so they had their own rooms. If they start to clash you will know.

we had a tree beedroom growing up with 3 children and a mom we each got our own room and mom got the couch. I mean its not there fault right?

Also now i have three child a girl 3 boy 4 and a boy 8 months in a three bedroom the boys have the master the girl has the next biggest and my husband i and i get the smaller room when they boys get to an age where the age is a big problem my husband and i will figure it out so each child can get a room.

Children of the oppsite sex should not share a room past the age of 4 or 5 if you ask your local child welfare office they will tell you the same thing.

Just to be clear, I don't think that dressing / undressing (i.e., mere nudity) is THE privacy issue that we're all really concerned about here. True you wouldn't want to bring a kid of this age into an opposite-sex lockerroom; but that's because everyone would be uncomfortable if they were to see or be seen by opposite-sex non-relatives. You can rest assured that most siblings have seen each others bodies and that they are NOT interested in each other.

The real problem here is that your twins are getting close to the age where they are bound to start exploring their own bodies (i.e., masturbating). Masturbation is what I assume you were refering to when you wrote about "things [you] hope [you] never catch [them] doing". I'm certain that either one of them would more than "hope" NOT to be caught by the other when they were doing THAT; in fact, I'm sure they'd be mortified, even psychologically scarred, should that happen. Thus, though it might be OK in the short term to have them share a bedroom, they're going to be too old for that kind of an arrangement very soon.

Friends of mine had all 3 of their kids (2 girls, 1 boy) sharing a large bedroom. A neighbor decided that this was just wrong and reported them to Child Services. They came in and told them that their son had to have his own room, which caused so many problems for the kids since they loved sharing a room. The boy has his own room now but hates it and now the family has a history with DCS.

When the boy was ready, he would have asked for his own room. It should have been a family decision.

By the time it get's innapropriate the older and younger girls won't fight so much.

We caught my 8 year old son sexually abusing his younger sister by sneaking into her room while my wife and I slept. Separate them, and put locks on the door so that they can lock their doors while you sleep. Sexual abuse is horrific and causes life long consequences to mental health that pale the other items you mention in your article.
- Dad

I have a 13 yo boy, 10 yo girl and 8 yo boy. The two boys share a room, but the 8 yo doesn't like to be alone, so if his big brother goes to camp, or sleeps over at a friends, the boy and girl sleep on sleeping bags in the girls room. Occasionally all three will have a slumber party in the boys room which is big enough for all three. I don't see any problem with it and think it's fine for a few years. Maybe when they are 10-12 you will want to revisit, but it depends very much on the individual kids. Some kids aren't very pubertal even at 13...

Wow. When did your children's sleeping arrangements become the governments business? CPS is not as big and scary as you would think. I live in PA now, but I used to live in NY. My ex husband tried suing me for custody years ago, when my daughter was 9 and my son was 7. We lived in a 2 bedroom cottage and they shared a room, with bunk beds. CPS came to do a home visit because ex hub said it was spider infested dung hole (he'd never been there) and they came and said it was lovely and the kids were great. Needless to say they still live with me, are now 17 and 15, they now have a little brother and sister (who share a room) and are happy and well adjusted, and very good friends. They often chose to hang out together even after they had their own rooms. I think its your decision where your kids sleep, based on their personalities and your space, and gender should have ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with it. The implications of that are so disturbing. Frankly, I think its more harmful for a child to share a room with a parent,

I had 3 children and 3 bedrooms. The oldest child was 5 years from the next and 7 years from the youngest. The younger 2 (m/f) shared a room until the oldest went to college. They are fine, very well adjusted kids and still close friends. When the oldest visits, they all have to sleep in the same room, up all night talking. I heard a lot of talk that I should have split up the younger two. Was someone going to add more room to my house? My response was ALWAYS, "your own room is a luxury, not a necessity."

I have 7 year old triplets, 1 girl and 2 boys, and they still share a room. They are very close and like to be together, so I don't see any reason to separate them until they ask for it. They are very good about asking for privacy in the bathroom when they want it, so I'm sure when they feel that sharing a bedroom is too much they'll let me know. So, when your twins decide they need their own space you can discuss what sharing arrangements need to be made then. Let them enjoy being young as long as you can.

I see nothing wrong with it. I grew up having my own room (each of my siblings did), but my best friend shared an open attic space with his three older sisters, there was never a problem. If your twins don't have a problem with it, then there is no problem.

I have 7 year old boy/girl twins who have always shared a room. Their father died a month before their 4th birthday. Our house doesn't allow for them to have separate rooms without massive remodeling, something I don't have the finances or patience to do. They sleep in bunk beds, and I know that having their "familiar" in the room at night has provided comfort and stability during a difficult time. Until they start really pushing for separate sleeping space, we're going to stick it out in our tiny, affordable house!

Twins are different from other siblings, having spared space with someone for their entire life. I'm not talking about mystical bonds or secret languages -- it's more like they're just easier-going when it comes to sharing with each other. They have room for the other one. I try to have quiet corners in the house where they can retreat when they need alone time.

I try to keep the lines of communication open with them, so they'll tell me when they're irritated with each other and I can direct them to a quiet corner. But ultimately, they still prefer sharing sleeping space. Thank goodness -- one less thing for me to worry about!

I shared a room with my twin brother until he was 8 and began to hear things at school from other boys. . He would tell me or ask me about it or ask me if I had done certain things that he had heard about and I was totally embarrassed and uncomfortable around him even when we got older.
So I would say it would be better to have their own room. Now is probably the time they would like to bring their friends over. when we were seperated, and I woul;d bring friends my brother was totally jealous, and wanted us to play boy games, cowboy, etc, or if we rode our bikes, he insisted on riding with us. It took a while for him to let go and have his own friends over. And PLEASE, get them separate birthday cakes. I always longed for my own cake, one that just sid Happy Birthday Sarah and not happy birthday Sarah and Carey, my own toys, my own books, and not something thatn had to be shared. I didn't mind sharing some things, but sharing got old.

I have a boy (5) and girl (7) who share a small room in a small house with me and their dad. Other people act like it's weirdness, but yeah, I think in this society people are used to giant houses where no one has to share living space if they don't want to.
Most of their play time is spent out in the family room. Most often they only want to use the bedroom for sleep. They are little. No big deal.

Honestly people, they are KIDS! I also have 8 year old boy-girl twins. They have always shared a room, they are best friends, and they say they can't sleep if the other one is off on a sleepover. Who cares if they see each other naked? Why do we have to sexualize children? When they hit puberty, I hope to be able to give them separate rooms, but for now it just doesn't matter.

The early settlers in North America often only had one room and one bed. Everyone slept in it and the parents had sex with the sleeping children next to them. This was the case throughout history and in undeveloped nations to this day. It is only in the modern age that people have had the ability to put one kid or sex in one room. It does not hurt children to live this way or the whole of the human race would have been damaged. What hurts is the judgement pronounced by others and, worst of all, to make the children feel that it is wrong. It isn't. It is more natural than the isolation of everyone in a separate room. As a kid I slept in the same room as my parents with just a blanket hung for privacy. I am sure lots of the poor in the US live this way.

Because people here in America just LOVE to tell other people what to do, what's right and wrong, how to raise their children, etc. It is the American way.

Good grief!
People are so ridiculous! My two children shared a room until they were going into 9th grade (Girl ) and 7th grade (boy). They played well together and shared most everything well. They gave privacy and never, ever complained when one had a guest over, the other would sleep on the couch. Today as adults 31 & 29, they are close and yet they know when to give each other space even as adults.
My husband and I gave the larger room to them and it was half girl/ half boy stuff, never an argument as to who should "get out of my room" I don't see the big deal really , it's all how YOU react to it.
There are children all over the world who share a room with all their family including extended family because all they have is ONE room homes. Let those people who talk or raise an eyebrow talk who cares? About the preteen who doesn't want to share a room? Some brief counseling such as "get over it, and move over , your sister is moving in with you because we have two bedrooms for kids and she is old enough to stay in the bedroom with you" should be enough to tough love her into place. No? Well then she needs a bit of talking to.
There comes a time when we have to look at the real problem, that we are spoiled and selfish because we have had it pretty good in this country.
I shared a room with 3 other sisters In a tiny apartment and we all got along. My brother had to have his own small room as he was much older. We all survived, your kids will too. You sound like you get it, just tell people you're fine with your arrangements. Let them worry about their own kids and what they are doing... Good luck, and enjoy your kids, time is so fleeting and there is so much else to think about when it comes to our kids.

I don't think there is anything wrong with the twins sharing a room, as long as they are getting along and there aren't any "issues". I don't have any twins, but I have three children myself: 2 boys and a girl. My boys, now ages 15 and 13, have NEVER gotten along. My oldest has a combination of ADHD/OCD/ODD and I imagine (since it runs in my family - thankfully not me, however) possibly bipolar disorder too. My younger son has never been tested, but possibly has both ADD and ODD.
My daughter, the youngest, currently 10, only has ADHD thankfully.
With my children, as previously mentioned, the boys have NEVER gotten along. The oldest always found a way to injure the younger son, sometimes causing him to get stitches in the process. My younger son was very protective of his little sister after she was born. She slept in my roon from birth until our family moved to a new military post when she was about a month old, then she had her own room for a year and a half. Then my husband went to Korea and the kids and I went home to his parents, where we tried having the boys share a room and my daughter and I shared a room at their house for a few weeks until we got an apartment. The problems between the boys were astronomical! I was only able to get a 2-bdrm apartment, so I had to come up with a sleeping arrangement for the kids. We had a bunk bed set and a toddler bed (for my daughter). The boys always shared the bunk set, but my in-laws decided it best to separate the boys. So the oldest stayed at their house, just down the road from us, and my little ones shared the room. The two younger kids shared their room just fine. No fighting, no fussing, perfectly happy. My son even went so far as to help tuck his sister in at bedtime and would read to her. If she woke up crying in the middle of the night, he would get up and try to calm her. If it didn't work, he would walk her in to me in the next room. There were never any issues, no problems, nothing, with them sharing a room.
When my husband returned a year later, we moved back down to where he was. I gave my children the option of who was sharing with who, as on E-4 military pay you can't really afford a big house.
So my son and daughter opted to share again. It worked out just fine. It wasn't until the home we are in now, which we moved into in 2007, that we finally decided to give each their own room. And that was only after my husband got out of the military into a job that paid very well and we could afford a larger house. My children were 11, 9 and 6 at the time. When we separated the younger two, it was actually perfect timing, as they started really becoming independent of each other, my son wanting to play video games or try to hang out with his brother, and my daughter spending most of her time with me (she has always been very insecure without me). Until that point, they never wanted to be away from each other. It's natural, not some horrid or perverse decision as some people think.

If your twins are comfortable together, they get along without fighting and there's no other issues at hand, I'd just let them remain together for another year or two. I will say that, being that most boys start hitting the age of "curiosity" around 10 or 11, you might consider at THAT time getting a larger apartment/home and separating them. That is the age that most children will start becoming wary of the opposite sex, as well as their own developing bodies. I have been through it with both boys already, and my daughter has now started her own "journey of discovery". It's something every child goes through, but I wouldn't make a big deal about it. That's when things go wrong. When separating them, instead of making a scene about the "opposite sex/body" issues, try encouraging them with decorating their rooms individually to fit their interests (girly stuff for her, boys' things for him). Encourage them to "do their own thing" instead of always being together.

But no matter what, IGNORE the demands of your friends/family/acquaintences... Unless they LIVE with the children and see them 24/7. they will never fully understand the situation. YOU are their mother - YOU make the decisions. Good luck with the divorce, and best wishes for you and your family. God bless!

Seriously? I don't think there is a thing wrong with it! My parents when they were kids all slept willy-nilly in a single bed even, so we won't even talk about just sharing a room!

As others have said, so long is there is a way for them to have a little privacy who cares what the world thinks?

I am currently in a one-bedroom house with my 19-year old daughter, and at times I have 4-5 people all sleeping in this tiny cottage! We all have a place to sleep and we are all okay with it and no one is getting hurt. It enables me to have an actual home that I can afford, with a space small enough that the utilities are well within my budget as a single mom. Some people need to get a life and butt out!

I shared a room with my 2-year-younger sister until I was about 12. Never any issues aside from the usual non-gender-specific sibling fights and vendettas. Getting caught masturbating by dad, right before church, and then GROUNDED and sent to a church councilor for it? Scarring. Junior high school? Very scarring!! Believe me, the bedroom was small potatoes, and if it wasn't working out, we'd have had mom and dad do something about it.

My cousins ~ a boy and a girl shared a room their whole childhood and had no problems with it. No one told the family that they shouldn't. They had a lot of fun as did I when I went to visit. I have two boys and they share a room ~ I think it makes siblings closer.

my daughter's girl age 8 and boy age 6 share a room along with an 18 yr old girl from her husband's previous relationship. The kids can't imagine having a room of their own. My daugther has a 2 bedroom home with no room to expand and nothing that can be converted into another room. Many mornings she goes to get the kids up for school and find the 2 little ones sharing a bed. They get lonely, have a bad dream or cold and they go to the other for comfort. I think it is only wrong in the minds of people who want to make it sound disgraceful. I think it's wonderful that they love eachother so much that they want to be together.

Partition!

Whenever I visited my 3 female cousins in Mexico each summer when I was 12 (they were 12, 11 & 10), we would all sleep in the same room since it was only a 3 bedroom home... We respected each other's privacy and there were never any issues between us... Today we are all closer than brothers and sisters and love each other very much.... Do what you feel is right.

"They could care less" It's COULDN'T care less. And, no, sharing at that age isn't wrong.

My younger twin brother and sister shared a room for many years... I think they were 8 or nine when we moved and my parents then put my sister in with me. They were FINE together and had we not moved, probably would have stayed in a room together for awhile longer. I see nothing wrong with it at all! Your kids will tell you when they need to make the change. Until then... don't worry about what people say!

I really think that you will get your own clues, as they become older, and into puberty. Right now, let them be kids! When mother nature starts in, it would be a good time to move to her own room, or the "girls" room....approach it as a sign of her needing her own girl space!!
Ignore the hearsay...there will always be folks with opinions...Just go with your gut instict!! You know your kids better than anyone else!! :)

I have a 8 yr old boy 6 yo girl who love sharing a room. They get along tremendously well and many people liken them to twins. I think having a shared space makes kids closer. I let them each have alone time by giving them seperate nights at gmas and that works for me! By the end of the weekend they are dying to play together again! I think it's great your kids get along well enough to share a room! Don't feel guilty!

Having one bedroom per individual is a feature of modern, Western, affluent society!! In most of human history and in most of the rest of the world, people live in cramped quarters and somehow manage to survive - and procreate.

You have to do what works and ignore people who impose some sort of external standard based on the expectations that we all ought to have a certain level of wealth to allow us to purchase a certain amount of space per person.

My five-year-old son still sleeps in our bed most nights. Big deal! I'm sure he won't do that when he's 15. He has his own room but prefers to snuggle with Mommy. This is a bad thing?? I do not admit this publicly, though, because everyone has an opinion and they're not positive.

You care about your kids and you're doing your best. Ignore the questions and just come up with a standard, inane answer that will silence people who are intrusive.

Opinions are like bellybuttons. Everyone has got one. Most parents would be glad if they could give their children their own rooms, but it doesn't work that way in most households. My best friend didn't even have her own bed until she went away to college.
Figure out what is the best fit for your family and rest easy in the fact that you have made a well-thought out decision.

I don't think there's anything wrong with the twins sharing. I have a close friend with boy/girl twins and they are almost 14 and still share a room. They are definitely in the midst of puberty, but that hasn't caused them many problems. Yes, there is teenage drama, but it has nothing to do with them sharing a room.

Who cares what other people think? Do what is best for YOUR family. If your 8 year old twins want to be together, let them! Believe me, they will let you know when this arrangement doesn't work anymore. Probably around puberty so you have a few more years.

You may want to consider that your son might benefit from his own room by being able to do boy things...things you never want to catch him doing, is something to think about. Just because he's sharing a room doesn't mean he isn't doing them and that his sister isn't witnessing it. Kids start going through puberty pretty early these days, and by sharing a room you're running the risk of them discovering things with and about each other that don't belong between a brother and a sister.

People who are uptight about this are revealing their own hangups and paranoia frankly. If the kids are happy sharing a room, leave them be. They'll let you know when they need their own rooms.

My brother and I always had our own rooms, but when we were young we shared a room by choice for years. Neither one of us liked sleeping alone. When I got older (he is four years younger), I started sleeping in my own room more and more, and by the time I was a teenager I slept alone. I don't think siblings sharing a room is bad at all, especially if the kids don't mind or the parents don't have any more rooms. My brother and I grew up closer because of it. Besides, as other posters have said, other cultures sleep all together in one room homes!

you apparently write for income. I would encourage you to use the phrase "couldn't care less" correctly. If you could care less, that means that you care, right? There is a level of less caring that you could have. if you truly don't care, please say I could not care any less. Get it?

My girl/boy twins are now 34yo. We tried to move them to separate bedrooms at age 3 then age 4 then age 5 and age six. Every time we did, one or the other would wake up alone and go to the other bedroom and sleep on the floor next to their twin's bed. We gave up til one day at age 7, our daughter said she was ready for her own room and her brother agreed. Let them decide when they are ready.

"I’m not sharing. Is that so wrong? After all, I pay the rent"
That's a pretty selfish attitude for a parent. 8 is probably getting to the limit. I'm not exactly sure why the eldest not getting along with her little sister is a problem. As you stated, you pay the rent so you make the rules.

As a victim of sexual abuse I urge you to put your daughters in one room and your son in another room. Your daughters can learn to get along with each other.

You've divorced, have a child that takes extra care and have twins that love each other and happily play together in the same room? I hope that your dearest friends tell you that this is NO BIG DEAL! You've got issues that take your attention and love, and it sounds like you've got a plan so that one day it doesn't become a big deal (curtain/partition...whatever helps). I agree w/the mom who wrote that just because they share a room they're not going to become deviants!! They're kids, and you're all doing the best you can. You don't mention the father's opinion, but hopefully you're on good terms and still pulling the "raising healthy kids" wagon together. All the best.

Why is this an issue? Are these morons projecting their fear of incest? Even if the twins share a room into their twenties, who cares? I marvel at people who have nothing better to do than to think twisted thoughts about others. In many countries, there are adults and children of mixed genders stuck in the same room forever. Not everyone has the luxury of available space.

The twin bond is quite powerful and often supercedes the gender division. The kids will tell you when they need to be separated.

Let's face it. Everyone is different. What works for one family may not work for others. Do what you think is right for you and your family. I have three kids (boy 9, girl 7 and girl 2). Live in a nice three level townhouse with 4 baths, but only 2 large bedrooms. Have a bunk bed for the older two and a toddler bed for the baby all in one room. The girls spend more time in the room then my son. He really just sleeps in the room and even showers and dresses in one of the other bathrooms. They don't seem to mind the setup and think nothing of it. In a year or so (and just because we have the option) I will set up sleeping arrangements for my son on the first level in the family room. Think he is too young now to be all the way downstairs by himself, but will probably enjoy having his own space by that point. We don't utilize this room as much as we should and i will probaly install an alarm system to feel better about it. The girls will continue to share the bedroom until they move out or we move into a home with more bedrooms.

If the room is big enough you might consider using tall bookcases to separate the room and give each child their separate space. I saw this done and it can work well. One bookcase might face one child's side and the next would face the other and so on. Frankly at age 8 I don't see an issue. I think the kids are lucky to have the comfort of being with their twin.

I am a young parent but i grew up in a house with 5 siblings. We only had two bedrooms so we the children had to share the bedroom. I have 3 sisters and one brother. We all learned how to respect each others privacy and when time came to change, the older girls would change first then the younger girl and then my brother. He only moved out to his own bedroom when he was 16 years. that was our situation and we learnt how to live through it until we could manage to change things. In turn we learnt how to respect each other space and privacy and also how to be organised whith very little space. So darling you are doing what you can and trust me you are doing great so far.

I don't think 8 is necessarily too old to be sharing rooms. Each child is different and each sibling relationship is different. However, I think it is important to discuss with each child separately their feelings on sharing a room. There might be something (even something benign) that makes them uncomfortable with sharing a room with the other that they wouldn't feel comfortable saying with the other twin present. And your children should never feel uncomfortable even if it is more convenient.

I have 2 sets ot twins ages now 19 ( 2 Boys) & 17 ( Boy, Girl). I tried to separate them at and early age and was not successful. Twins have a bond and in time they separate themselves with age. My 17 yrs still go in each other rooms and get in each beds ( of course now I hear"Moma tell himor her to get out of my room) then at times they are lying across the bed laughing and telling jokes with each other. No one know the bond that they share even in the womb. When one hurts the other child feels their pain. My 19 years do nto miss a day communicating even though they are in college time is not an issue for them to spend with each other. It's a bond no one can explain for twins.

I wish people would mind their business and stop trying to dictate their limitations on other people. The paranoid,limited minds of the world will try to "law" others to death. Relax paranoids, you can't project a future of what if's for this situation. Even if something horrific happened in the past to another brother and sister sharing the same room, that can not predict what is going to happen in this one. Get off your moral high-horse and look in your own closet for what might be wrong with "YOU", instead of projecting your fears on others.

What's wrong is that you're taking the path of least resistance instead of putting your foot down and insist that the older daughter act her age.

I don't have Children, but I work around children on my job, so I sort of know what I am talking about. It seems to me that putting the girls together would be the thing to do, and I will explain why. It would be a learning experience for both. It would teach them about Sharing, that "I" am not the only person in the world. It would teach them that sometimes in life we have to deal with people we dislike, and have to grin and bear it. It And who knows. It might even bring them closer together.

I have a boy/girl twin. They separate on their own. They shared a room until they were 12 years old.I had a three bedroom home with them and an older sister. the oldest had her own room because the girl twin did not want to sleep away from her brother. It is a bond that twins have that no one can understand but them. Who are we to say when to separate them?

Mine are 8 months apart-one is adopted-and I also have a space issue. (Mine are only 3, so the big privacy issues haven't hit yet) I attached 2 of the cubicle shelves back to back (with the fabric drawers) and use that to separate their beds. They have their own sleeping/toy storage space, and then the front of the room is open for play. It may not be IDEAL (what is with this economy) but it was a relatively inexpensive way to make it work for now!

Temporary dividers are just fine. Move the twins into the largest room and find dividers that cover virtually floor to ceiling and bingo you are good to go. They are likely not very expensive. You might need to get the boy a shrunk for his hang up stuff so they don't have to wander in states of undress to the same closet.

I'm pretty sure my brothers and I were still running around the house naked after bathtime when we were 8! They're children and family, there's nothing wrong with it unless you stigmatise it!

Share your room with the eldest, selfish cow!

as a parent i find it very selfish for you to say "im not sharing"...they come before your own comfort

How about an open shelf room divider like you get at pottery barn. lots of extra storage without the curtain feeling.

lol.. talk about a police state.. You really have to question the sanity of the people who put into law that children of different sexes cant share a room above the age of 4. It take a psychotic human to even think something incestuous would come out of that. Ive slept on the same bed as my sister 4 years older than me when I was younger. I took a bubble bath with both my bro and sis in a huge tub. This is like the fuc.ki.ng weirdos who think having a 2 year old girl with no bikini top as sexual, it isnt but the freaks and psychos out there think it is.

Well if it makes you feel better, my 13-year-old son and step-daughter share a room. She moved in with us FT a few months ago but before that, they shared a room on the weekends. It's no big deal. Each dresses and grooms in the bathroom. Their bedroom is basically where they sleep, store clothes, sometimes do homework, listen to music, etc. If this custody arrangement becomes permanent then we'll consider adding a bedroom to our basement or moving my two younger sons in with their older brother and giving their sister their room but it's not an emergency situation. FWIW, my mom grew up poor and lived in the city and she shared a room with her sister and two brothers until they were old enough to live on their own. My dad has 6 siblings so they had to get creative with bedroom space too. You've got a few more years until you have to figure out a plan so don't stress about it!

I think it's insane, are you looking for problems? You'll find them.

well, some people just think dirty and they think that bad things may happen if a boy and a girl share the seem room.
but well, people lived for eternities in just one big cave together, its just recently that people got "rich" enought to have a single room for each family member. so, if it would have been unhealthy, our whole human beingness would have been super unhealthy from the first moments human beings started to live.

in europe and other parts of the world too, you will find many countries, continents, where kids share rooms. nothing wrong with it.
if they somewhen get more into privacy, may put up a curtain between them or a room devider or a shelf (what has at least also a use)

Kind of makes you laugh doesn't it? College dorms and executive bathrooms all go coed..... And people complain about your twins living in the same room. Call them sexist and move on, the kids will tell you if they need something different.

I was 8 when I masturbated the first time. I've done it every day since then for the past 34 years. I'm not weird, all boys are like that and the frequency of the masturbation is going to increase exponentially over the next few years. If you want your daughter sharing a room with somebody who is masturbating all the time, you'd better prepare yourself for what happens when she catches him in the act. Whatever you do, don't let them watch Star Wars with Luke and Leia (twin brother and sister) making out in the first three episodes. They weren't even sharing a room together and look what happened.

Unless you're seeing problems or your kids are begging for separate rooms I wouldn't worry about it at all. I'd tell people to mind their own business.

My 6 yo daughter and 2 yo son share a queen size bed. We are full-time rv'ers, bc daddy works on the road and we want the adventure with him. All 4 of us share 390 sq/ft on the road. I don't see any problems with the kids sharing a room. When I was in the military, I shared an apartment with 3 other guys. I didn't have any problems then either. To h-ll what people think. Let them to continue living in the bubble they think the world should be. Hence why we will never live in the suburbs again.

Your kids, your house, your decision. My b/g twins are together at 6yrs old and will stay together till they ask. If they want to be together, let them. And as for them "seeing" each other, I would remind the Neigh Sayers, that it wouldn't have been the first time they did.

My twin daughters are married now with children of their own. They always shared a bedroom together until they left the house. Twins have a very strong bond, whether two girls, two boys, or a boy and a girl. Let your twins stay in the same room together, as long as they have there own space.

It surprises me how silly people can be. Only in America do we put such an emphasis on space when most of the world' children sleep in the same room, boy or girl.

My sister and I shared our room until I left home at 18. There was never an issue even though she is two years younger than me. Someone else made the comment "As long as they don't undress in front of each other". I shake my head at that, as if a brother and sister have never seen each other naked. I have probably seen my sister naked more than any other girl/woman, I certainly never thought anything inappropriate about her. Only a perverse mind would think there was a problem with family members seeing each other naked. I am comfortable in my body, happily married, and soon to be a father myself. My wife and I can't afford a big house, we make do with what we have. If we have both boys and girls, they will just have to share thier room like most of the rest of the world.

I think you should let your children decide. If they want the partition and privacy, give it to them, otherwise, let kids be kids and only worry about it if it becomes a problem they tell you about, not someone else.

I'm a single mother living in a one bedroom apartment with my boy/girl twins. They share one bedroom, Momma has the couch. I would love to have us each have our own room, but on my disability check and the little extra I make substitute teaching it's not going to happen. People have no room to judge if you're being a good parent and doing the best you can. I've seen children with their own rooms with horrible parents. I'd rather be the former.

"Couldn't." "They could care less" means they COULD, as in it IS something that's an issue. "Couldn't care less" means they could NOT care, it doesn't bother them.

It's OK. Read Little House on the Prairie. 5 kids in a log cabin. This is not going to wreck anybody's life at all.

My son and daughter shared a space until my daughter hit puberty. Result: they are such good friends. And also friends of each others' friends.

There's nothing wrong with your set up. Think of all the families on this planet that share one room. Yes, it's always better to have privacy, but you continue to do what works best for you and your kids and ignore the critics.

I think most people who are having negative thoughts about this subject are people who have been molested or know someone who has and that may be the danger they are talking about. The hard part is that kids are growing up so fast these days and learning about sex and exploring their bodies at an alarmingly early age, no one ever thinks that something horrible like this could ever happen to their child or in their home, until it does... You are in an undeniably hard position, but, like every parent we must do what we feel is right for our kids and look for the signs that things need to change BEFORE there is a problem. I know from reading the article you have already thought of all this so, best of luck and everyone else needs to understand that just because siblings (boy/girl) share a room doesn't necessarily constitute a problem brewing.

This is ridiculous. They are 8 years old! I share a room with my two younger brothers until I was 16!
Families with lack of means and people all around the world have their kids share rooms two, three, four to a room. It has never hurt anyone. If anything, I believe it creates an environment of bonding and being the kids they should be, rather than being in their own rooms doind things "you hope you never catch them doing."

I had my own room since I was young, I always slept in a separate bed in my sisters room though. I liked the company, I did this till I was about 16 (probably sounds weird). I always had my own room, I just chose otherwise. I say let them choose. I just became accustomed to not being alone at night and so did she.

P.s. She is 2 years older than me, and we're not twins. I don't know if that might factor differently.

Buy or get Bunk beds..Place bunk beds smack in the middle of the room with the head board against a wall....positioning them so both sides are as equal as you can get, ( buy, 2 - 4 foot x 8 foot boards and 3 medium "L" brackets and some screws BIg enough to fit through the wood or metal on the bunk beds. , On the top bunk measure a board and cut to fit if needed ,( the height & width of the top bunk about 4 x 6 ft.). attach to ceiling, on the Left side of the bed ( use L brackets to attach top of the wood to ceiling and the board to make a wall.. ) then bolt the bottom part of that same board to the rail/wood, of the top bunk right below where the mattress will be and bolt to that part of the top bunk and ceiling you use the three "L" bracket., each end and the middle .........
..On the buttom bunk..on the opposite side (righ) do the same thing running that board from the side right below the mattress, Bolt it...making a wall...run wood to the floor and bolt it there in 3 areas too... "Now" BOTH children will have their own private space, thats the lenght of the bunkbeds... the kid on top bunk will have to climb down the end thats where we placed the ladder....bolt the ladder to the footboard, we did that for our daughters , so each would have privacy. then you can paint or wallpaper the wood boards ( inside and out) or do as we did..we added cork and My one daughter used it as a bulletin board OR you could use that New caulk board paint & they would have giant caulk boards of their own ......it really makes a great room divider and the only cost is two pieces of wood & 3 brackets & about a dozen LONG screws... His side /her side..and let them decorate the new walls.

I have 5 kids. When the oldest son was a Sr. in H.S., he insisted in having his own room. The girls were grouped together already so I had no where to put the youngest son who was 7. We had a dining room at the time with a bay window. A kitchen that had a huge counter that had stools around it. We put the youngest one in the dining room. At meal times we ate at the counter. It worked out great. I could keep an eye on the youngest so he wasn't unduly aggravated by his elders and he kept me company while I prepared meals. Just because a room has been given a name by the realtor doesn't mean you can't creatively change it to fit your needs.

In our home right now, the sleeping situation is directly linked to our income. My husband, a licensed contractor, has been financially destroyed by the economy. Our children are male aged 8, female aged five. They do indeed share a room.

You do what you have to do. My kids are happy with the arrangement however bedtime is difficult for me because they'd prefer to play than sleep. I have had to alter bedtimes so one is asleep when the other goes to bed. Otherwise, it's bedlam.

There is nothing wrong with it as long as they are both comfortable. I suspect around puberty they will start wanting privacy from each other, but even then there are many ways to have privacy and share a room.

Consider how very, very recent is this phenomenon of kids having their own rooms. For most of human existance, in most countries, kids of all genders share their space.

Also consider that most busybodies aren't the Joneses they make themselves out to be. They don't know your kids like you do and probably they all have dirty minds.

Shared the same bedroom with two brother's...one set of bunk beds and a twin....no problems.

I'm a mom of 11 year-old boy/girl twins. We have lived in houses where there were more than enough bedrooms and they generally ended up sleeping in the same room. Now we are in a two bedroom home and they are sleeping on bunks in the same room, boy on top and girl on the bottom. Dad shares a bathroom with brother and I share one with sister. It is working out well. My MIL and SIL seem to think it isn't right, but this isn't the only thing we disagree on. I say don't worry about it. They have a bond with one another that makes them comfortable in the same space.

The kids will tell you when they need separate spaces. When people ask you if they need privacy or aren't they too old just say "No. Aren't I lucky that stuff isn't an issue for us?"

My boy/girl twins shared a room until they were 9. We had bedrooms for both of them, but they preferred to use one room as a bedroom with two twin beds and the other room as a play room with all of their toys. They'll let you know when they want a different arrangement.

When I grew up my parents had a small two bedroom apartment, my sister 2 years older than me shared a bed until parents bought the apartment next door and expanded then we had our own rooms I was 11 my sister 13. Years later when I was on my own my apartment burned down my friend got his parents to let me stay with them until I could get back on my feet, shared room with his 3 sisters, because of way I was raised there were no problems. In college I stayed at a rooming house was the only guy there once again no problem. All in all it is how you are raised and the values you are taught that make a difference.

Why would you have three kids if you clearly cannot afford a home big enough for all of them to have their rooms? Seems pretty selfish to me. Also, it's "I couldn't care less" not "I could care less". Saying you could care less implies that there is a level of caring. Good luck to your kids.

I don't know where you live but in NYC where a whole family can share 1 bedroom, nobody cares if kids of different genders are sharing a room. I have a friend who's 9 year old girl and 6 year old boy share a room in pretty tight quarters I might add. I have never even had a thought, I can't believe people are so opinionated as to tell you what to do in your own home. You do what you need to do and what you feel is best for you kids.

this is a ridiculous american notion to separate children because they have reached a 'certain' age and it's improper and they need their space and etc etc. they are YOUR children. not pedophiles. until a girl starts becoming a woman there is nothing wrong with it in my opinion. look at every other country in the world. only in america do we over estimate the need for personal space. it's ridiculous. let your kids enjoy their childhood! clearly they are and thats the way it should be. just my opinion don't mean to come on too strong.

As a twin myself I see nothing wrong with this. My brother and I (girl) shared a room until we were about twelve and a half. We loved being together and still do. Our parents let us decide when we wanted to be seperated. We decided and they let us have our own rooms. We decided at that age I think because we wanted more privacy for sleep overs and time with our friends. But we still would have slept in the same room. We just needed space to be without the other. So don't worry about it. Your twins will tell you when it is time to seperate them.

I have two boys age 7and 3 and and a girl age 5. They all share the same room and even though they have a bed trundle they prefer to sleep all together in the same twin bed. They give each other security and comfort. I've divided the room and decorated half girl and half boy. I think it works just fine and when they see each other naked when they change clothes, no big deal. We have a spare room that we use as a play room but for now they are happy where their at.

They will let you know when they are ready! They are still little, and sleeping alone in the "dark" is sometimes a rough negotiation lol!! Mine are 11 and 9 boy/girl and even though they each have their own room (now) because we moved to accommodate their future "privacy needs", they still crash together all the time! This may change with maturity but, I kind of hope it doesn't! I hope they are always each others go to person for comfort. People just need to stop making everything dirty.

i wouldnt worry about what others say every family is different and unique in their own way
as the parent of an aspergers child i can smypathise with you and it seem like your twins are developing fine so i say just take what others say with a grain of sand and dont worry about it
i think even if you do get curtains it will be a while before they stay closed for long especially if they are like my 8 year old daughter whos a social butterfly
but thats just my 2 cents

I do not think there is anything wrong with your twins sharing a room. Heck, I shared a room with my brother growing up (we are not twins, he's 2 years older). People are just weird nowadays... back when my parents were kids there were sometimes 3 kids to a room because they didn't have the space. No one thought anything of it then... why do they care so much now? Ignore the comments, your kids seem to enjoy being together anyway!

Your friends comments seem a little, oh I don't know, none of their business! In any event, you asked. One person mentioned to follow the lead of the kids. I agree- to a point. Puberty might be the time to consider different arrangements or when your daughter begins changing physically. The curiosity factor might lead to years of therapy for all of you. However, for the time being might I remind your nosy friends that cultures all over the world to include our own until we got so wrapped up in "keeping up the Jones'" that many a family lived in one or two rooms where children were continued to be conceived while the other children were not so very far away. Personally, I believe we were much more adjusted and "normal" back then than we are now "with our own rooms."
Just call me Opinionated!

I AM a fraternal (female/male) twin whose parents forcibly separated us when we were 7 into separate rooms. It did them no good. Either I would sneak into his (my old) room and crash either on the foldaway bed or he came into my room to sleep. We spent most of our time together and quite frankly, couldn't understand just what the heck the problem was with us sharing a room all of the sudden! After all, we'd shared the same womb, crib, room, for our entire lives and all of the sudden it was "wrong"? Get real! Let THEM decide when they're ready to be separated! Twins are close, physically and emotionally. Tearing them apart before THEY are ready--is just asking for trouble. (it took my brother and I another 3 years to be in our own space all the time) and now,we're both healthy, relatively well adjusted 40 somethings raising our own kids and we still talk to each other all the time.

Children have a right to food, shelter, love, and safety. You are providing all of those things. Individuality, personally decorated spaces, and alone time are luxuries. This country is the only one with a standard of living high enough for this to even be much of an issue. A curtain is a nice touch, but just teach them to respect each other's privacy for dressing, such as either dressing in a bathroom or knocking before coming in and provide separate places for them to keep personal items, while teaching them to respect each other's boundaries. It sounds to me that your daughter's physical and emotional safety needs are much better met sharing a room with her brother than her special needs sister. It is really sad how these days so many people feel that it is appropriate to question parental judgement when no abuse is taking place.

Let them stay together as long as they continue to get along.
One note, the proper phrase is "They COULDN'T care less", not COULD care less. Why do so many people who write for a living make this mistake???

They are brother and sister, not complete strangers, of course it's ok for them to share a room at age 8. Maybe as they get older they might want some more privacy, but at this age it's fine!

Don't trust advice from people that can't spell!
IE: They are your children, you no better! As long as there happy and no there boundary's . "But by ten, I would separate them1 Not just whistling Dixie, Grandmother of twins ten years old!

I shared one room with 2 sisters and my brother as a child. We are bothers and sisters, there is nothing innapropriate. It's sad that today's society has to make you feel as if you are doing something wrong, or that it isn't right for a brother and sister to share a room. Years ago, the entie family would share a room!

my sister and i are like that. until 11 years, bunk beds, many nigths i ended up in her bed or vice versa. then moved to separeted rooms, but still sleeping togheter for some years after. but then in highschool we started changing, so we started to sleep in our own rooms. we seen each other naked a lot so, it was no problem for us. we were and stil are good friends. nothing sexualy happen. we had our talks about the opposite sex. she gave me many good pointers about girls. i gave her enaf about boys. we had our rows, we had our good and bad days. we would not talk for like an our and then we had to, because of the bond. we missed each other, but in time it was strong as ever
she ended up marring a good friend of mine which became like a brother to me, and i ended up marring a good friend of hers which became the sister she never had. so now at 35 i have twin boys and she has twin girls, the ods of that happening. they are like 3 months diference, but they are very close... all 4 of them. we live 2 houses from each other my sis and i and we are very close.
the bond is very strong. and if the way u are raised is good then every thing will be fine.

Do what feels right and comfortable for you and your family.

Eight is still quite young, and if they're happy with the situation then I say no harm no foul! My brother and I aren't twins, but due to space constraints we had to share a room until we finally moved when I was a month off fifteen and he was ten-and-a-half. I was certainly wishing for some privacy by then, but overall the experience wasn't bad, nobody caught anyone doing anything, and no long-term issues were created. I'd say you're doing just fine.

I honestly don't see any problem with a brother and sister sharing a room at their current age. Perhaps this will change in a few years, but people forget that the majority of the world need to share not just with their sibling, but their parents too. One room homes tend to be the norm in many countries. Your children should be grateful for a roof over their head and a Mom who cares about them - evident in your seeking out counsel on this topic too.

I too have 5 year old B/G twins who share a room and the other bedroom is a playroom. My in-laws keep getting on me about when I am going to split them up -- they don't think it is "right" to have them sharing at this age. I asked my doctor's opinion as well as the child psychologist at their school about it and they both said that it was perfectly appropriate. They will want their own space before the fact that they are b/g even comes into play. On this issue, I will let my kids take the lead.

I shared a room with my younger brother up until I was 8 (I'm female) because we could only afford a 2-bedroom house. Then my dad lost his job and we moved to a much smaller town with much lower rent so we got a 3-bedroom house, but we didn't really know the difference since we played in each other's rooms all the time anyway. Nothing creepy about it.

And I had a friend in college whose father had become disabled in an accident when she was in high school and her mother had to support the entire family, which had 2 teenage boys and 2 teenage girls, on a minimum-wage job. They had to move into a 1-bedroom apartment and all slept in the same room. I'm sure the kids would have rather had their own rooms, but they didn't ever complain because they knew their parents were doing their best with what they had to work with. And once again, nothing creepy ever happened.

You wrote "Sure I would love for my boy to have his privacy. A place to be a boy and do boy things (things I hope I never catch him doing…). "
But it'll be fine for your daughter to be in the room when he does them? You'll let your 8-year-old girl absorb what you won't tolerate? Nice.

After becoming a single parent and having to move to a smaller house we had to do some "sharing of rooms". My two teenagers, boy and girl, share a room but they both have their own "room" I put bookshelves down the middle of the room (half facing one side and the half facing the other side so they each have shelves for their things) and then a curtain over each of their "doorways". They are still physicallly in the same room but they each have their own "room". It may seem stupid and may not look good but sometimes you just don't have a choice.

Younger people might not realize it, really, but in times past, children had to share rooms--girls and boys together, if necessary--people did not have the money to provide big homes with lots of rooms. So, there is nothing whatsoever wrong with the brother and sister having to share a room--unless adults put an idea in their heads that it is immoral! Leave the kids alone. They will decide when they want their own privacy.

In pyschology I learned that "The Exotic is Erotic" meaning that one longs for things that are new and exciting. This relates to homosexuality. Studies showed that a boy that is raised in a home full of women often longs for the company of a man as an adult.

It is your house, do what you want. In a society that is getting more "Big Brotherie" every day, everyone wants to tell you their opinion. We see this in TV, government, etc. I really think that we need to keep out proverbial noses out of other people's business. We are soon going to have our second set of twins. The first were born at 20 weeks and died in my hands. For them we had a funeral and I personally buried them. (I did not want some random person putting dirt on my children.) Several people had no problem telling me that they would not have done what I did. My response was and still is, "When your twins die in your hands, you can do what you want." We simply should not care what people think.

We are again pregnant with boy/girl twins. I believe that if I were in your situation and others were telling me what I should do, I would have the same attitude. There are no perfect parents out there. If you believe that what you are doing is the right thing for your family, then do it. We are all going to screw up our kids in different ways. This may or may not be one of the ways that you make a mistake. I think that I like the philosophy of "you go screw up your kids your way and I will screw up mine my way".

Disturbing. This reminds me of a certain storyline in Game of Thrones.

Personally I think people should mind their own darn business; and perhaps you be less free with the information you give out to others. What does it matter to anyone who has their own room or not? Do your 'friends' actually believe that two 8 year olds are shaving sex?? I mean isn't that really what they're all flustered about?

At what point and time do you parents think that you as parents need to address the privacy issue for your kids???

I have three children and a two bedroom house, my eldest is a boy now 21 yrs old, my second is a girl now 20 and my third a boy now 13. They all prctically grew up sharing the same bedroom up until my daughter went to college 2 yrs, ago an about a year ago we built my eldest son his own room in the backyard detached from the house. I believe that with reasonable monitoring and guidance there is nothing wrong with sharing bedrooms. If anything, I feel that the arrangement has made my children closer to each other, you just need to teach them to respect each others personal space and needs. My youngest still share the bedroom with his sister when she comes home from school breaks . They now that it is more of a neccessity in our case cause we just can't afford a bigger house or an addition to our home at the moment.

How utterly ridiculous to be concerned about someone else's space allocation arrangements in your home. Let your children lead the way. Let them have the space that they are comfortable with, insofar as reasonable. Primarily stop listening to other people. What a question to ask a parent anyway. Do what is best for your family, and change the subject if obnoxious people ask you this question again.

If they have a roof over their heads and food on the table they will grow up just fine. My mother grew up with 11 brothers and sisters in a 2 bed room house and everyone grew up just fine... As for everyone's telling her to make a change, Why don't you consider giving her the money for her to move or expand her house then maybe you'd have a say as to how someone else raises they children.

You know your children best. To hell with what everyone else thinks you should with YOUR family. If it's not broke don't fix it. They are brother and sister, twins for that matter, it's not like you're letting your 8 yr old girl have sleepovers with unrelated boys or vice versa. After world war 2, houses were small and families were big, i'm sure it was common practice back then, due to lack of space. If you feel what you are doing is right, then it is. Tell people to mind their damn business

How your children sleep really isn't anyone else's business, so your busybody neighbors can give it a rest. I stayed in the same room with twin brother until we were 9, and we weren't exactly thrilled to be separated. If it works for them, it works for them, and if anyone else is staunchly against it, they can fork over the money for you to get a bigger place :P

My mother grew up with 10 kids in the family. Five boys and five girls. They all stayed together in the same open upstairs room whether they liked it or not. They heated only with a wood stove, and had outdoor plumbing. They bathed in a tub in the middle of the kitchen floor and shared bath water. Did they like it? Probably not but you do what you can with what you have, and if it works for you then there is nothing wrong with that.

My dad and his sister shared a bedroom until he joined the Navy. My grandparents couldn't afford a house with three bedrooms. Both Dad and Aunt didn't seems hurt by the experience.

I shared a room with my brother. He was 2.5 years younger than I was, and it was awful, once he reached puberty. I can recall him rubbing on me in the middle of the night, and I did not say a word. But, he did, and my father listened to him and beat me. Once a boy reaches puberty, separate them. What would be so awful for mother to sacrifice her bedroom to one of the children and for her to sleep in the living room. That's what all the parents in my apartment building did. I could sooner see a group of male and female children in one room, than one of each gender. On top of abusive parents, I had to deal with an abusive brother. If I did my homework in the bedroom, he wanted to do his homework in the bedroom. If I acquiesced and did my homework in the livingroom, then he wanted to do his homework in the livingroom. We were not given our space.

My brother is 7 yrs older than me and we shared a bedroom from the time I was born until I was about 16 and he was about 23. He was working and got his own apartment eventually. Sharing the room didn't bother either of us.... It was a small room and we made do with what we had. We didn't stress out about privacy either - we normally got half dressed in the bathrrom as soon as we stepped out the shower. Or one person would be taking a shower while the other would get dressed in the bedroom. People do what they have to do. There are a lot more pressing issues that children/ people have to deal with in their lives besides bedroom privacy! It should not define you or affect your character development or morals!

One call by one of your neighbors to social services and you'll be seperating your twins or visiting them in foster care.

I have 6 year old boy/girl twins as well as 8 yr old boy. Let your twins decide when they want to be separated. I see no need for a partition in the room unless the kids are asking for it. Once they reach puberty, they'll likely demand basic privacy and find their own ways of obtaining it. They don't need adults to solve that for them (two brains are greater than one). The bond between twins is undeniably deeper than most other sibling relationships. It is incredibly beautiful and heartwarming - everyone should have twins. :) As for the person who thought your twins shouldn't undress in front of each other: Western society is far too uptight about nudity. My kids have no qualms about being naked in front of one another or running through the sprinkler in the yard starkers. So what? This part of their lives comes to a natural close with puberty. Friends and neighbours need to be told kindly to mind their own business.

The worst thing about America is the many people trying to run your life. Its a family decision, not a government or other's. You pay the bills and all the people telling you to separate them don't! Until around the 80's many families shared rooms with their opposite sex siblings. Family is about love, togetherness and respecting one another. Its no different then when a family vacations and share a hotel room. You get dressed in the bathroom. They're twins. Twins have such a bond and want to be together many times, heck, they lived in the smallest most crowded place from the beginning! If it were so wrong twins, wouldn't be possible. Kids learn respect. If they want to stay together let them. Sick people think sick things that say separate them. They're brother and sister not girlfriend boyfriend.

Weird. Just weird. Unless you want them playing doctor, then separate them, I say.

I would make the living room my bedroom and let the kids have their own separate bedroom. Get a pull out couch/bed for yourself and let them have their privacy. If not, then yes a partition works as well.

I'm the eldest of boy-girl-boy-girl siblings. We were fortunate financially, and except for when some of us were babies, had houses that had enough bedrooms to allow one per. So we did have separate bedrooms, though never separate bathrooms. By choice amongst us kids (parents never said anything either way), nobody much cared about physical privacy, and this extended until we began to move away for college. We all saw each other naked, regularly, because doors were left open and because one did not care if someone brushed his/her teeth while another was in the shower, etc. People dressed and undressed while having conversations. Puberty wasn't any defining line. We did see the changes in each others' bodies, and we learned from it. And a couple of us did walk in on each other pleasuring ourselves. I got "caught." It was worth a smirk and nothing more. So what?

For all these reasons, 'mere' nudity is not sexual to us. That's a good thing. It's anti-repressive. When I went to college, I was around similar people, who would skinny-dip, shared college bathrooms, etc. Nobody was the least harmed by this; in fact, we were helped. These cultures in which the sight of a woman's ankle drives men to distraction are very, very wierd.

I wouldn't worry a whit about it. Let these kids alone, and listen to none of these harpies. If they want their own space, they will say so. We kid, if we had been in the same room, probably wouldn't have.

It's your house.

To me this is a question about boundaries. Children growing up without this type of boundary tend to develop issues around boundaries themselves. This can be due to opposite or even same sex children in shared rooms past a reasonable age as well as children in their parents room. Bathroom privacy is a big one. Also one of the comments referred to their children as "coping machines". I guarantee you that sharing your personal stuff with your children, relying on them for things children shouldn't have to do, confiding in them grownup stuff, will lead to issues with self-esteem, boundaries and addictions in the future. Children need to be children and not be a substitute spouse. I am a victim of that type of abuse and it has taken me several years of therapy to figure it out. And yes, it is abuse. And "love" doesn't make it right. My mother and father gave me unconditional love.

This is absolutely okay. Your mind is in the right place and it sounds like you have more than thought things out. Until there becomes an issue within your family, I would leave things as they are and let them remain a well bonded sister and brother. I can only wish I had friends for siblings when I was growing up, I had 3 and none of them were close. Good for your family!

i grew up in a three bedroom house; one for my parents, since we were all so young (sister 9, brother 5, me 3) we shared one room and spare room was our play room. Once my sister hit her teens she moved in to the play room and my brother and i continued to share the old room. Honestly it made us more attached, even after my parents moved me in to my sisters room I continued to sleep in my old room because I enjoyed talking to my brother. Now i'm 22 and in college and he 24 and also in school and although the three of us are very tight knit siblings, my brother and I understand each other better. So don't worry, I speak from personal experience when i say: your kids will be perfect.

I am amazed at how small minded and simple some people can be. You are doing the right thing..there is nothing wrong with it. You have to make due with what you have. What will make it a problem is if people keep saying how wrong it is around your kids.. They see nothing wrong with it, and that's good. If they start thinking it's wrong, they'll start wondering why, and THAT will confuse them and possibly cause problems.
People who are worried about incest should realize that if one child molests another, it is because that one child has that tendency - brain chemistry - and sharing a room or not won't change anything. I am not trying to belittle those who have been molested, it is a horrible, horrible thing to experience and carry with them the rest of their lives...and I'd take it away if I could. Generally speaking, though, a sibling is a sibling, and they would never ever consider making it more. This is a slightly different situation, but I think it still makes the point. My brother was adopted as a baby, he's 2 years younger. In middle school, his friends would tell him that his sister was hot, and did he ever make a move.. He was mortified.. He told them. NO, she's my SISTER!! They responded with the fact that he was adopted so we weren't blood relatives.. So what??? We are brother and sister. Plain and simple. It makes no difference "where" he came from. The thought totally grossed us out..

You are doing the best you can, and I think you're doing a great job. When it's time to make a change you'll know, and you will figure something out. You care deeply about your kids which is why this bothers you so much.. That says something. Just keep being the best mom you can be...that's all that matters. Stay strong and good luck with everything!

I was also one of three children growing up in a home with limited space....only in our case, our third was an infant and neither one of us older kids were going to share a room with her! My dad constructed a bunk bed from plywood with access to the lower bunk on the left and the upper bunk on the right. With back-to-back dressers and the bed, the room was efficeintly devided and we each had our own space.

I think what you are doing is just fine. Just like you said you are paying the bills, so it should only matter to you what you do in your house. I think once your little one gets older maybe have her share with her older sister and the oldest one is going to have to learn to deal with it. I think you are doing just fine.

If the twins are happy sharing th room, there could be no better solution than to leave them alone. To worry about separating them at age 8 because they are not the same sex is, to me, unfounded. As they develop, it will become apparent when separation would be a good thing. Let them enjoy each other's company until then. Nana

I have a son and daugther aged 10 and 8, respectively and though each have their own room, they do like to sleep in each other's room. My son has a bunk bed and my daughter has a daybed with a trundle. They feel comfortable knowing that someone is there with them while they sleep.

I personally wouldn't worry about it. In the good ol' days, whole families of women, men, and children would share one small living space. It just is what it is. I have five kids, four boys and a girl. The only one who has his own room is the one going through puberty, a boy, and the two youngest are girl/boy sharing a room at ages six and one year old. Sure, it'd be easier to make the two oldest boys (just 13 months apart) to share a room but my oldest is developmentally in a different place than his next closest brother. One day, I might move my first two together, and my current 8 and 1 year old boys together, and give the girl her own room, but for now, it's working...

Nudity is not sexuality. Closeness is not incest. This is the most ridiculous thing in the world. For thousands of years, everyone lived in the same cave.

I think that those that have a problem with it, well it says more about THEIR minds than your kids'. I have 3 (7, 5, and 3) and they refuse to sleep in their own rooms (boys in one room, girl with her own). We finally just moved her bed in there with them and turned her room into a playroom for now. You obviously care enough to pay attention to your children, so if anything needs to change you'll notice it first anyhow.

I had to share a very small bedroom with my twin brother when our parents divorced, and my mother was financially unable to rent anything larger than a small two bedroom/ one bathroom apartment. We were in the room from age 7 to 11, and all three of us shared one bathroom. The room was so small we couldn't have a partition, so we put a strip of masking tape on the floor to divide the room in "halves." My mother's financial situation improved when we hit middle school, and we were able to move into a three bedroom/ two bathroom house. However, my uncle moved in with us when we hit high school, and rather than share a room with my brother, as we were now teenagers, I had to share a room (and a bed) with my mother for a few years. My uncle and brother each had their own rooms. Unfortunately, when my mother had a boyfriend during this time, I had to move into the living room and sleep on the couch (no fold-out bed) for about 18 months, and I shared a bathroom with my brother and uncle. These were not optimal situations, and me and my brother fought as siblings do, and we fought my mother, as teenagers do. It's not easy having no private room to go to when you are a teenage girl, and I still envy my brother having had his own bedroom, but this was the best my mother could do... And I still love her anyway.

Sarah,

People should mind their own business. Look all around the world, does every boy and girl have their own room? Does everyone need all that privacy? Back in my great grandparents time the family bathed in a steel tub in the kitchen, it was the norm and there was no privacy. Today in Germany mixed sexes of all ages from kids to 90 year olds attend the sauna together (no clothes allowed) and it is the norm. Some Asian countries have bath houses that both sexes attend together. There are no issues and nothing immoral going on. If anything, the experience allows a person to feel more comfortable with themselves and others.

America was built on religious freedoms that stifle the personal freedoms, no matter if those personal freedoms are bad or good. Adam and Eve were never ashamed until they were taught to be ashamed by the serpent after eating the forbidden fruit. My point is that being closely around family members of the opposite sex will likely have a more positive effect on the children than a negative one. It is only natural and if they are brought up right then nothing truely wrong will happen. There is nothing to be ashamed of or worried about.

Besides, if they want to change in private I am sure that you have a bathroom with a door.

I have a 2 bedroom apartment and a boy and girl that are 7 (b) and 3(g). They couldn't share a room with that type of age difference. They just could not get along. So, I had to give them each a room and I now sleep on the couch. Nearly two years now and it sucks and when people find out, they act like I am crazy for not making them share a room. (My daughter can't share with me as she is HUGELY independent and likes her own space.) My point is, no matter which way, yours or mine, people will find something wrong with it. I just tell them that if they would like to pay the nearly $400 rent difference each month to move to a 3 bedroom, I would gladly accept. Like most other ppl said on here, it is up to you and your kids. If they prefer it that way and you can't reasonably change it, leave it as it is.

my kids are 6 (boy) and 9 (girl) and they share a room and love it, and on top of that they are just fine emotionaly. we can only afford a 2 bedroom apartment, so what i did was i got bunk beds and seperated them and put them on either side of the room, they have boy/girl versons equally of everything in the room, from toy boxes to the colors of the totes they put their smaller toys in. i would love to be able to afford a three bedroom house but i just cant right now. the only time that them sharing a room ever worked against me was one time i tried to rent an apartment and the land lady said she refused to rent to me because i would have to have my kids share the room and that was just indecent. i politely told her that i was sorry and didnt know i was talking to a moron and found a new apartment.

My two kids shared a room until my son was 11 and my daughter was 9. I think it is completely fine as long as they are young enough to not care too much. Once the get old enough to feel uncomfortable it is time to make the switch.

We just separated our 8 & 10 yo…. Had always thought we’d have the money to buy a bigger house, so kept putting it top gadgets off. This summer we finally threw in the towel and split our master bedroom down the middle into two smaller bedrooms and moved into the kids’ room. Learned loft beds work wonders in a small room home decor ideas!

BTW: My kids were really even that interested in splitting up until this year. We just let them decorate their own sides of the room in their own way to personalize their “space”.

There just kids, as long as they understand that there are some boundriesits no big deal. My brother, sister and I all shared a room for quite some time. My sister and I sharing a bed and my brother on a cot. I am not emotionaly scarred. I promise. Especially with your oldest daughter having the added difficulties. Puberty is enough of a pain alone. You have plenty of time before your twins hit puberty and will want space. By that time I'm sure your oldest daughter will have coped with the changes and be ok with the change.
Just remember that other people are not the ones in charge of your family, you are. You know your kids better than any one else. I wouldn't worry to much about what other people think.

I think only a person of a sick mind would consider that inappropriate. It is really sad to hear that there are people who actually think like that! They are twins for godsake! It should be upto them if they want separate room when they grow older as they would want their privacy. But other people asking you to separate them just because they are the opposite gender is really beyond words.

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In some states it's illegal for children over the age of 6 to share a room if they are of the opposite sex. I know it's been like that for over 40 years where I live. Just sharing a thought

I don't see any problem at all with the 8-year-olds sharing a room. I think it'll be your daughter who starts to have an issue with it first, when she turns 11 or 12... but you have to do what you have to do. When that time comes, ask them how they'd like to handle the situation and let them have some ownership in the solution you work out. It could be as simple as putting up a small partition - like a Japanese blind - or maybe they'll come up with a better idea. Good luck!

I grew up in a one bedroom house with 3 brothers and two sisters. Privacy did not exist. We fought, shared and got to know each other very well. Never considered the one bedroom a problem. What caused the fights was only 1 bathroom and 6 kids and 2 parents.. (My parents slept in the dining room.

I am a 46 y/o man. My sister, who is a year younger, and I shared a room until we were 17. It was a big attic and we had a large blanket dividing the room. We didn't have any problems.

I am a twin (M/F). My sister and I have shared a room well into our teens. It was never a problem for us and has in fact helped us later in life. You learn how to deal with someone sharing a close space with you. Even now my sister and I are close. I really don't see the problem. The kids will sort out space issues between them both themselves. Don't forget we shared a space before we were born as well. How is this inappropriate?

they are ready for mastubating L0L

Houses used to be smaller. Back in the 1960s my Aunt Alice and Uncle Bob and my highschool aged cousins Janice and Alan lived in a one bedroom duplex. Alice and Bob turned the dining room into their bedroom. Janice and Alan had twin beds and shared the only bedroom. They had one bathroom, an eat-in kitchen, and a modest sized living room. Every one survived the cramped living space. Alice and Bob are long dead. My cousins Janice and Alan are in their 60s as I am. Neither of them turned out "weird" or "emotionly scarred" so just ignore your critics.

I would not worry about it. We have friends who have done the same thing, but more extreme. Their 7-year old girl shares a room with her 16 year old brother. Of all her siblings, he is the most compatible to her personality. They have no problems other than his socks creeping over on her side. She is like the "team mascot" when his friends are around and they have a terrific relationship. We have other friends who have co-ed rooms for their kids- they live in Europe, where the practice is more common. The mom grew up the same way, sharing a room with her brother. She has said that it helped her have better friendships with boys because she understood where they were coming from.

At this point, I think it is more important to focus on your older child's needs, as since she seems to be more emotionally vulnerable after your divorce. The twins will let you know when sharing space is a problem.

I think as girl twin approaches puberty, she's going to want her own space, and boy twin may start to feel the awkwardness of it, too. Then the author's going to have to resolve her space issues, but I just can't believe it should be a problem before then.

I don't see what the fuss is about: the twins are happy, the oldest can't handle sharing a room, and you aren't made of money. They're eight years old, so for now, sharing is perfectly fine. They might be a lot less inclined to like sharing when they hit puberty, but you've got time. If it works for you, and everyone is more or less happy, tell the naysayers to take a flying leap. It's none of their business anyway.

It worked for Buffy and Jody on Family Affair.

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I believe that if you have no other choice,then the divider curtain is better than nothing.That being said,when people had larger families children learned to share.I knew a family back in the 70's who had only a three bedroom house.Mom and Dad one room, son in one room and four girls shared one room.They had bunk beds on both sides of the room.It builds character and teaches children that sharing and compromise is part of life.If you can learn to do that at home, you can relate better to others in school,work etc..The art of making due and adjusting to what you have.I know that there was at one time a requirement in many apt rentals,that if a child was over the age of six they needed to share a room with a child of the same gender.Maybe that is outdated now,but the reason for this is because by a certain age,children become curious about their own bodies and sometimes others bodies as well.You see my point.It is best to deter this curiousity between siblings.I say that the older daughter really needs to learn to adjust and perhaps put the divider /curtain up in the girls room.

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I know people who did the EXACT SAME with their boy and girl twins.
They did this until they were both about 12/13 and things were perfect between them.
They fought occasionally like normal children do ( I used to fight with my sister all the time and we didnt share a room) but they got over it if anything slightly quicker than normal because of their situation.
If i had a set of twins of boy and girl i would not hesitate at having them share a room

From a kids point of view (I just turned 15) I don't think it's wrong. I have a brother who us almost 10 years older than me, and we shared a room from when I was 3 until I was 7, My entire family has severe ADD, and there were always occasional "get out of my room" screaming matches, but it was nice know I wasn't alone, and I was safe and so was he. I think as long as everyone has thier Privacy times, and time away from one another, and time to spend together. Maybe you should talk with them, even your older daughter about the room arrangements, and discuss why it is the way it is, and how, if they really wanted to, you could change it. But, once they hit puberty, they should have their own rooms, or atleast find a way to put a separtor wall, something more secure than a curtain. i'm just giving a kid who shared a room with her way older brother's point of view. But seriously discuss it with them, because my brother and I are the farthest thing from twins, and keep discussing it with them, and include your older daughter, It affects the whole house. I wish you and your family the best of luck with this. :)

I had two siblings (one boy and one girl) and for most of my childhood we had two bedrooms between us. I remember a couple of years when all of us slept in the same room and used the other room for a playroom! So yeah, as long as the kids are okay with it, I think 8 is fine. And kudos to you for supporting your older daughter with Aspergers. As a young woman who went through the exact same situation, I can attest to the fact that having my own space as a pre-teen and teen was vital to my emotional health.

Society says to separate them but honestly, mommy knows best. If they are fine then leave them and screw everyone that has such a strong opinion on this. For one, they are twins and I'm sure they have a special bond. For two, you, being their mother, will know when it is time (even if ever!) to separate them. Hell they may LOVE sharing for a very long time. But THEY will let you know. Don't let anyone tell you are are wrong. They are your kids and again MOMMY KNOWS BEST! :)
Good luck with everything! ~MRS

Keep doing what you're doing Mom. Tell those nosy people who want to condemn you for your choices to mind their own business or buy you a bigger house! It makes perfect sense that your twins would stay together - especially at their age, considering your older daughter's emotional issues and the relationship she has with her younger sister. You may have to watch them more closely as they get older and more curious about their bodies and the opposite sex, but it sounds to me like you're making the best of a crowded situation. I agree with you about sharing your own room too. Bill-paying adults need their own space and 8 year-olds don't have the same privacy requirements as we do. You work hard all day and if you want to stay up at night watching R-rated movies or talking to a girlfriend, you should be able to do that with privacy. There are so many cultures that wouldn't think twice about kids sharing a room, I think we American's are just spoiled and believe single rooms are the way it should be, but that's a luxury not everyone can afford - or needs.

After looking over many of these posts I have to ask: were they turned on my their opposite sex sibling?? Give me a break. My 13 year old son and 10 year old daughter have seperate rooms, yet they have slept in one room for over 5 years. At first it was the same bed, so we bought a mattress and boxspring so each kid could at least sleep in their own bed. They actually moved the beds closer together! They used to play legos and such until lights out and then talk until they fell asleep, now they read to each other and then talk! My son takes his responsiblity of watching out for his little sister very seriously and I think its because how close they are. Last month we started forcing them to sleep in their own rooms, it was a hard transition and I am beginning to believe it was a mistake. Relax and please stop worrying about what anyone else thinks. Don't raise your kids by popular vote. Oh, and real friends would never tell you how to raisse your children.

My kids (g/b 6 and 4) have their own rooms, but like many posters choose to share. I feel there is nothing wrong with it. I think it is society need to sexualize EVERYTHING that make people think there is something wrong with it. The are siblings, they are EIGHT, there is no reason they should not share.

I have four kids 3 boys and a girl, ages 2-5. They all four share a room and will continue to for the foreseeable future. I have been told for the last two years that I needed to get my daughter out of the room with the boys. They do not even notice the difference yet. But everyone is quite certain it is a big issue for some reason. My kids have fun and enjoy being together I do not see separating her just because she is a girl. If your children are OK with the situation then it is fine as is. They will tell you if it becomes an issue for them.

In most states its illegal to have children of the opposite sex in one bedroom after a certain age. In PA its 5, some states is 3yrs some its 7yrs. My friend and her brother shared a room together and someone called CPS on her mother. She was given 2 weeks to give my friend her own room.

ok so im not a twin but im the youngest of the Family and i have a mixed family im 14 and my sister is 16 and our brother 20. ( i have one full sister and a half brother on my fathers side) well at 1st it was just my sister and i then we found out just a few years ago ( 2 years) arianna and i had our own rooms untill this year. Matt just recently moved in with us because he is going to collage here. we have a guess room but its full off boxes from my grandmothers house ( she recently moved into a seniors home) well moving Matt into my room seemed the most logical but theres such a big age gap that we just didnt get along atall. Arianna and i however are really close and tell eachother everything were like best friends so she agreed to have me sleep/ move in her room untill our parents finish the basement. when she or i want personal space i sleep in the guess room ( sense the bed is free of boxes now) or she goes to a friends house. its just tempoary but its working out fine.
mike

I do not see a problem with it whatsoever. Me (then 12), my brother (then 10), and my paralyzed grandmother shared a room since my great-grandmother died when I was seven. I'd seen my brother nude, my grandmother nude, my grandmother cathing. So has my brother. I don't see anything wrong. I mean, grandma peeing, bubby changing, etc... We didn't think anything of it. My six year old brother has a habit of wanting to sit on the toilet seat playing his gameboy while I'm showering just to tell me how far he's gotten. I've slept in a bed/couch/palette/sleeping bag/etc.. with many different people. My cousins, my friends, my aunts, my uncles, my siblings, all people I knew and loved. All different ages. I once slept on a king sized mattress with me, my then one year old brother, my then 24, 18, and 14 year old guy cousins, and three of my little cousins (then 3, 4, 8). Nothing was wrong. That's just my family, but I think it just depends. I think you're safe for now, Miss.

I had my close in age boy/girl share for a while..ohhh the mess lol i had to change them back..... but seriously a friend of mine had 2 children, 9 months apart, they had a 2br home and so the kids just had to share. As they got older 10/11/ they started to complain a little,9read whine) mostly about not having thier own "space" so what she did was buy double bunks, put them in the centre of the room. a curtain/was hung from the ceiling on the boys side(he had top bunk) his bed was open to the window. all the space on that side of the room was his and he chose the window curtain and his doona cover. He had a tall boy for his clothes and a bookshelf toy display . Em had a curtain from the window side of the room from the top bunk to the floor and the door side of the room was hers, she also had her own small wardrobe and bookshelf, she had fairy lights on her side too lol They were able to play on the floor or do homework with some semblance of their own space.it worked until they were about 13, then they build and extension, It can work!!!

I know this is old but it helped me a lot so I thought I would comment. I am a single mom to boy/girl twins who are now almost 8. I own a two bedroom apartment, nothing big, nothing fancy. I made the decision that their education was more important so I stayed with the smaller place and put them in private school. But now that they are getting older I was getting worried about them sharing, even though they don’t seem to mind, I hear them chatter and giggle before bed and if one of them is away the other sleeps terribly. So I talked with them and explained why we kept a smaller house and told them we could move if they wanted but we had to decide together as a family what we would do together to save the money. They came to me the next night before bed and said even if we got a bigger house they still wanted to share. But they did want a way to have a bit more privacy. My son likes to read at night and my daughter crashes right away and is a grouch with less sleep. In the end we decided on coordinating four poster beds. They each have black out curtains around the bed in matching colours and a light on the wall above the head board. We’ve had it this way for almost a year now and it seems to work great.

i think u should put twins in a room to share but not at that age cuz when they get older they would probly start having sex and that stuff

You are really stupid people if you let your government tell you which room should you kids live in. In our country many siblings grow up till they leave home in one room. No matter they are boys or girls or both. Even we do not need "privacy curtains" or other crazy things you describe.

I don't think there is anything wrong with it. My boy/girl twins will be 5 next month and have always shared a room. I'm sure in some sense they wouldn't mind their own rooms (who wouldn't?), but they are comfortable sharing. They don't like sleeping alone because it scares them so there is no point having an extra room if it won't be slept in. Having another 2 year old boy, I know eventually I will have to split the boys from my girl. As long as there are boundaries I don't see the harm. Have one side dedicated to the girl, and the other the boy. I definitely wouldn't let them change together or anything similar, so the curtain is a good idea. Another thought (silly but works), if there's a walk in closet in the room big enough to be converted in to a room, paint it pink and decorate it for the girl! Not a lot of people ask for twins, let alone boy/girl twins, you're only capable of so much, so make what you have work!

I shared with my brother who is 2 years older until I was 9 or 10 and we had a spare room. We had always shared and I didn't move into my own room until my older male cousin came to live with us. I don't think there was anything wrong with this but I don't know what my brother thought.

Our parents and grandparents very often grew up sharing a room if it was necessary and nothing was said by then. I grew up sharing a room with my elder brother (one year apart) until I was 11 and he 12 and we are both doing fine. Back then, separate room was the exception not the rule. I guess some people cannot stop from judging others all the time too often for the most stupid reason.

When my son and daughter were younger, they shared a room for financial reasons.

I was able to divide the room using a t-shaped divider so that each child had a private space for sleeping and getting dressed, and a common area for toys and other shared activities.

This may be an option for you.

Hah! I'm a girl and I shared a room with my brother until I was 12 years old, no emotional turmoil for me. If they get along fine then there is nothing wrong with it.

My 5 yr old boy/girl twins also share a room.... with their almost 3 yr old brother. We had separeated our daughter when we moved to our new house (the baby was still with us in our room). When we put the boys together she wanted to be with her twin again. They are now in bunk beds and we ahve turned her room into a playroom.... until she gets older and she wants her own "girl" space again. They love being in the same room and there is nothing wrong with that.

If you are renting apply to the council for a house with one more bed room when the time comes that they feel the change needs to be made. Until then just carry on as long as they are happy. Better to have happy children than miserable ones because outside influences have forced a change on them.

omg,, what happened to the days when a family of 8 would live in a 3 or 4 bedroom house.. or a family of 7 in a 3 bedroom apartment or townhouse? when do we choose to think its the norm for children to all have their own rooms??? and they are 8.. i could see at around 10 or 11, depending on the kids themselves, to split up the boy girl.. but 8?? people are crazy, not only did many of our grandparents share rooms, they shared beds with siblings and family members.....

Throughout the past centuries, families have generally speaking all lived together many families with six to ten children in one room. In the past fifty years it seems this is wrong. I do not think you should worry at all about your two sharing. They enjoy each others company right now and when they hit puberty that may become a problem but until then let them share, and tell other people it is not their business.

In case anybody's interested, it's not illegal for opposite-sex siblings - of ANY age - to share a room. In any state. Some states have rules along those lines for foster kids or to get approved for an adoption, but CPS can't and won't prosecute you for having opposite-sex kids in the same room. If you go camping, do you get separate tents for every member of the family or do you all share one or two big tents? How is that any different?
My mom made my older brother move in with my grandma when all we could afford was a two-bedroom apartment rather than having him share with the girls. She wouldn't even let him spend one night in the same room as us, like in the middle of a move or something. She'd put him on the couch and let a bed go empty first. She was weird about it.