I've been thinking about what the goal of parenting is for a long time, years before I ever became one. I knew the point wasn't to make them happy by giving them everything they wanted or by trying to prevent them from suffering as I've heard other parents share, nor about simply controlling their actions. I?ve never believed it was about cherishing the moments either, although I admit to being completely awed by them and their growth (and lack thereof in some cases).

I think I've simplified the answer for myself finally and wanted to share and get feedback. So here it is?it's to prepare the child for adulthood! I feel silly for even saying that because it seems so simple, like something everyone knows, but it's really anything but simple and many parents (myself included) tend to forget it.

First, you have to decide what's important for them to know as an adult. Then you have to decide how to teach that at each stage. These are things that require a lot of thought, research and planning. My bottom line is instilling character - trust, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring and being a good citizen. I suspect that's most parents? goals if they thought about it.

But how do we know what will help them long-term - advice from other parents, studies, psychologists, trial and error? I guess that?s the daily dilemma of parenting and why we question ourselves so much. I ultimately think it?s about gradually loading them with adult responsibilities and expectations (and giving them the proper coping tools to deal with it) so that when they reach adulthood they can handle the load. Well, that and being a good role model yourself.