Desperately Seeking Sanity: I’m a Mom of 6 and Newly Single

I’m forty.  I’m newly single.  I have six kids.  I’m overwhelmed.

I never imagined my life would turn out like this. I don't think anyone goes into marriage, thinking, Oh well, if it doesn't work out, we'll just get divorced. Actually, some people probably do have that attitude. But most of us think that things will last forever. And once kids are thrown into the mix, we do everything we can to make it work. We try for years. We put up with more than we probably should "for the kids' sake". But sometimes, there comes a point when we realize that staying together "for the kids" is not really the best thing for the kids.

So here I am, a mother of six, trying to do it all on my own.  And, you know what?  It’s not too bad.  There’s a new peace about the house.  The kids are getting along really well and are willing to help out more these days.  If I’m too tired to wash the dishes before I go to bed, I can leave them in the sink until morning without worrying that anyone will get mad about it.  The toilet seat is always down and I have the entire bed to myself and am never kept awake by snoring (well, except for those times my four-year-old daughter climbs in bed with me).  Plus, I’m learning how to do fun new things like taking out the garbage, unclogging toilets, and shopping for cups (and I don’t mean the kind you drink out of.) 

Yeah, I worry about money and not being able to spend enough time with my kids.  I worry that I lack the coordination it takes to get six kids to band practice, confirmation class, baseball, softball, hockey, gymnastics, church, a friend’s house, the store and the doctor all at the same time.  I worry about balancing work and my family.  I worry that the divorce will somehow damage my children for life.  But mostly, I worry that someone’s going to get sick and throw up and then we’ll have to move to another house because I can’t clean up vomit.

Still, above all the worry is a sense of peace, a feeling of calm, a belief that things will all work out in the end.  It’s not the end of life as I know it.  It’s the beginning of a new chapter.