Man Up: Should Boys Be Allowed to Cry?

My son's football team traveled to Tampa to play gridiron gladiators for a week. They pounded and were pounded on in equal measures and he returned home happy, tired, and unharmed. On his first day back to school, I received a call from the school nurse informing me that I needed to get to the school as quickly as possible because she thought he had broken his hand.

The first thing I saw upon entering her office was his hand which was swollen to the size of a canned ham.

" What happened?"

"I was playing basketball and tripped over a football."

Of course.  As I was helping him get his jacket on, he winced and let out a yelp. Some-random-male-school-employee who was in the nurse's office offered a hale, hearty "Man up!" Did I mention his hand was the size of a canned ham, six different colors and visibly throbbing?

Once in the X-ray room, while the tech was positioning it on the plate, he winced and let out a yelp. And, again, some-random-male-hospital employee suggested he "Man up". I'm not sure at what point in the "He Man Alpha Male manual" actual crying is allowed but it occurs to me that some revisions may be needed to make allowances for bone breakages and severe loss of blood.

Scientists have proven that tear ducts are smaller in males than in females making it more difficult for boys/men to produce tears. Also, prolactin, a hormone used to stimulate milk production, is also used to make tears and women typically have about twice as much prolactin in their systems as men.  And while research may have provided some biological insight as to why we use more Kleenex than the "pee-standing-upus" species, it still doesn't explain why my kid, who suffered a pinky fracture, had to pull a John Wayne.

I want my son to be able to express the full gamut of his emotional experiences in healthy ways; punching a hole in drywall, numbing himself with illegal substances or becoming a cyborg are all unacceptable. Nor do I want him given to bouts of uncontrollable weeping at the sight of a drooping daisy. But crying should not mean he is weak or soft. It certainly doesn't mean that for girls and gender equality should run both ways. If we want to see our daughters free from barriers which inhibit their growth and development, we should want the same for our sons.

How do you feel about boys being able to cry? Share your thoughts in a comment.