Dear Moms, 8 Ways to Do Nothing

Maybe you think “I don’t need anyone to tell me how to do nothing!  I know all about how to do nothing!”  But do you?  Do you really?  We’re all so busy doing “something” all of the time that we seem to have lost the fine art of doing nothing.

Maybe you’re one of those people who thinks “doing nothing” means being lazy.  Think again.  “Being lazy” means “not wanting to work” - indeterminately ignoring your responsibilities.  “Doing nothing” means taking a specific amount of time to proactively “still” yourself.   And why not do nothing?  Face it.  It’s time to realize all you ever do is something; for your kids, for your husband, for your co-workers.  What about you!  Every now and then, doing nothing is the best something you can do for yourself. 

Of course, nobody can actually do “nothing.”  I know, I’ve tried.  No matter what you’re not doing, you’re still doing something; breathing, sitting, eating the last piece of chocolate cake...“Doing Nothing” really means taking time for yourself.  Not doing any of the millions of things you think you should be doing.  Not checking anything off your To-Do list.  Not cleaning, not cooking, not “doing!”  Doing Nothing means taking time to focus on yourself, be alone with your own thoughts, and simply not doing something for anyone else. 

It’s really wonderful.  And it’s harder than you think.

Doing nothing is a great way to regenerate your spirit, clear your head and indulge yourself.  But maybe you don’t know how to start to do nothing.  Or perhaps you’re just out of practice (it’s been a while since those college days…).  Here are some things you can try whether you want to dabble in doing nothing, or try to make it a daily part of your routine. 

Just 20 minutes to a half hour of any of the following “non-activities” can help you feel like you grabbed a little time for yourself.

1. Meditate.  Sit cross-legged on the floor.  Close your eyes.  Empty your mind.  If a thought comes into your mind, let it in and then let it right back out.  Focus on your breathing…deeply, slowly, in and out. That will help keep your mind from thinking about something.

1. Go to your room, lay down and enjoy the calm.  This is not napping, although my children beg to differ.  It’s called “thinking.”  And it’s amazing how much you actually can get done when you have time to “think.”  I’ve come up with my best ideas just laying down and letting my mind run all over the place.  By keeping my body in one place, and shutting out the world, I find the space I need to reflect clearly.

1. Read the paper.  Yes, reading is doing something…but for us moms, doing something for ourselves that doesn’t involve doing something for someone else certainly counts as doing nothing (just ask whomever you’re not doing something for at the moment). 

1. Take a nap.  Maybe you can’t just lay down and let your mind go.  Maybe you just need to shut your eyes.  Go ahead.  Studies show that a 20 minute cat nap in the middle of the day can actually rejuvenate you.

1. Enjoy a glass of wine.  It’s the end of the day.  You’re done chauffering the kids from school to gymnastics to karate, you’ve done their homework with them, you’ve fixed them dinner and now they’re asleep.   Pop open a nice bottle of wine and enjoy a glass.  If you’d like, treat yourself to some cheese and crackers too.  You don’t need to have company over to enjoy a little cocktail hour.

1. Read aloud to your spouse.  Or, have them read aloud to you.  This is a lost tradition, and it’s so relaxing and enjoyable.

1. Watch TV.  I don’t care what the studies show, what the experts say, or what the pundits think.  Watching TV is fun.  And relaxing.  And since you’ve had kids, there is not doubt that watching TV feels indulgent.  I’m not suggesting I you sit in front of the boob tube all day long, let the laundry pile up and forget to feed the kids.  I am suggesting that it’s alright to find a show you love and make a date with yourself to watch it.  And now, with technologies like TIVO there’s no reason you can’t record a favorite show and watch it after the kids go to sleep.  Admit it, It’s a great way to turn off your mind and hide from the world.  If only for a brief while.  Or at least until GLEE is over. 

1. Go for a walk.  Shockingly, this counts as doing “nothing.” As long as you’re enjoying it.  Let it be leisurely.  Don’t feel compelled to sprint.  Just stroll, relax and maybe stop to smell a flower or two.

And now the key ingredient in your pursuit of doing nothing; Give yourself permission.

Good for you.

Now go forth.  And do a whole lot of nothing. Have you ever tried this?