Cyberbullying and Teens– It’s time for parents to take a stand!

The tragic deaths earlier this year of 15 year-old Massachusetts high school student, Phoebe Prince, and 17 year-old Long Island, NY student Alexis Pilkington brought into focus the tremendous problems that parents and school authorities face when it comes to cyberbullying. Both girls are reported to have committed suicide after incessant campaigns of insults and harassment, much of it taking place online.

Unlike physical bullying, cyberbullying largely takes place out of sight of adults and care-givers, with tormentors hiding behind anonymous computer screens and always-on smartphones. Instead of punches or shouted insults, it’s unflattering Facebook posts and derogatory texts.

Cyberbullying on the increase

The statistics are alarming and are getting worse. 17 percent of 6-11 year-olds and 36% of 12-17 year-olds report having been the subject of threatening or embarrassing e-mails, messages or texts (Fight Crime: Invest in Kids, 2006). And the family home is hardly a sanctuary for the bullied: 70% of teens who have been cyberbullied report receiving the messages while at home.

In the wake of the earlier suicides, a number of state legislatures have adopted laws that are designed to deter and punish, but they all face the thorny problem of defining exactly what cyberbullying is: If a student humiliates a classmate by publicly excluding them from a party invitation on Facebook, that might be mean but it’s certainly not illegal.

And none of the proposed or enacted laws are likely to have much deterrent effect on teens caught up in the complex emotional roller-coaster rides of adolescence and ever-changing relationships.

Schools are limited in their response
Similarly, school authorities face an almost impossible task trying to identify and discipline cyberbullies. They lack jurisdiction if the cyberbullying happens off campus or takes place after school hours, and then there are the first amendment lobbyists, who jealously protect an individual's right to say or write whatever they want, even if it's hateful text to an emotionally vulnerable 15 year-old.

The simple truth is that parents and schools can't wait for tragedies to happen and then try and deal with the aftermath. It's essential that parents push for anti-bullying and cyber respect programs to be introduced into school curricula as soon as possible. Other countries have instituted such programs with great success, reducing the incidence of bullying by as much as 60 percent.

But above all, parents need to be vigilant, watching out for the risk factors associated with bullyingand constantly monitoring their children’s online and offline behavior for signs of trouble. And just because your child isn't being bullied, doesn't mean that there isn't a problem. For every child being bullied, there are usually three or four children doing the bullying. Make sure your child isn't one of them.

Don't let the mean girls and the bully boys get away with it any longer. Take a stand against cyberbullying today!