In our continuing desire to make you happy and keep you calm, we offer the following things that you are now officially allowed to stop worrying about.

Stretch Marks
Forget about slathering cocoa butter onto your pregnant belly, breasts and butt. A new study by the American University of Beirut found that 45 percent of pregnant women who used cocoa butter still developed stretch marks, a percentage almost identical to those who used a placebo cream. Stretch marks are scars caused by rapid growth or weight gain that overwhelms the skin's elasticity. What ultimately determines whether your belly will look like a Rand McNally roadmap? Genes. (We're lookin' at you, Laila Ali.) And how much weight you gain during pregnancy. So go ahead, keep blaming your mother. And Ben. And Jerry, too.

The HPV Vaccine (for your daughter)
So what's up with all of those commercials pressuring you to inoculate your daughter to prevent cervical cancer, or else? According to an article in The New York Times, the proof may be more in the marketing than in the medicine. Turns out, Merck, the pharmaceutical giant and maker of Gardasil, did some pretty hardcore lobbying in Washington to fast-track their designer drug to your doctor's office. While the vaccine can be effective in sexually active women in their 20s, research indicates that regular Pap smears can be just as effective at preventing cervical cancer. Sure, Pap smears don't prevent HPV (because it's a sexually transmitted disease, duh), but more than half of women with cervical cancer did not get a Pap smear in the prior five years to being diagnosed, according to Shobha S. Krishnan, M.D., author of The HPV Vaccine Controversy. Also, with recent reports trickling with Gardasil, including fainting and seizures, maybe it's a good idea to hold off on vaccinating your 11-year-old daughter until its long-term effects are better known.

Hyperactive Kids
What we gleaned from our interview with Debbie Phelps is that a diagnosis of ADD or AHDH doesn't mean your child can't achieve his dreams. And, like, break world records and stuff.

Killer Tomatoes
In case you didn't get the memo, your kids' favorite condiment, ketchup, is safe again. The salmonella epidemic stemming from tomatoes has ceased and desisted. Turns out it was really the jalapeno's fault.

Killer Toys
After a slew of tainted toys from China had parents frantically combing through their toyboxes, Washington finally got some sense. Congress has agreed on a bill that sharply limits the allowable levels of lead and phthalates in toys. The bill, signed by President Bush on August 21, also gives the Consumer Product Safety Commission more funding and provides mandatory testing of children's products. So play on, players!

Fear of Flying
Your lifetime risk of dying in a plane crash is only 1 in 5,552, according to the National Safety Council. To wit, your lifetime chances of dying in a car crash are 1 in 257. Not that you should freak out about that either. Wearing your seatbelt improves your chances of surviving a car crash by 50 percent. But if you're still not convinced about planes, then go Down Under with Qantas Airlines, which boasts the world's best safety record, with zero plane-crashes in the entire 50-year history of the airline. Even when a minivan-sized chunk of the airplane blew off midair, Qantas pilots still managed to land the plane safely. Good on ya, flight crew!

Fear of Driving
In case you're still obsessing over that car-crash stat, stop. Turns out that higher fuel costs are good for something: According to a recent Harvard Medical study, for every 10 percent increase in gas prices, there's a 2.3 percent decline in auto deaths. That's because more expensive gas means fewer miles driven.

Getting Old and Decrepit
Okay, so J.Lo training for a triathlon six months postpartum is pretty loony. But get this: British woman Pauline Newsholme, at the ripe age of 69, recently completed her 69th marathon. And in the case of 41-year-old mom/swimming goddess Dara Torres,silver never looked so good. Sure, you may not be even close to be an Olympic hopeful, but a brisk walk through the park might be a good (and invigorating) start.

Having a Wandering Eye When You're on the Pill
Believe it or not, recent research by the University of Newcastle in England shows that being on the Pill, which mimics a low-grade pregnancy, lowers your hormonal ability to sniff out a mate. For your single friends, that sucks, but for you, that's right where you wanna be. Right?... Right?