Want to Raise Confident Kids? We’ve Got 10 Steps to Building Self-Esteem

Introducing ways to build self esteem and confidence in your child is essential to their well-being.  Dr. Laura Kauffman, Licensed Child Psychologist and part of the Education.com team, suggests these 10 strategies to get you and your child off to a positive start:

Let them know they are the sun, the moon, and the stars:  As often as you can, tell your kids directly how dear they are to you.  Take every chance you get to hug your children and let them know you’re proud.

“Catch them” being successful:  Look for opportunities to praise them but be very specific. Try to avoid “blanket praise” - saying things like “You studied hard and deserved this great grade!” will do more than saying “You’re smart!”

Criticize carefully:  Be sure they understand your concern or frustration is about their behavior, not who they are as a person. Let them know exactly what was unacceptable and why you feel that way.

Accept that your child’s not perfect – and help her do the same:  Help them cope with their inevitable shortcomings.  When kids identify things they “don’t like” about themselves, help modify negative thoughts by taking action or resetting expectations.

Set clear limits:  Communicate directly to let them know what the clear cut rules are, why they’re in place and the logical consequences they’ll face if they are broken.

Help them express their thoughts and emotions:  Children benefit from “training” to learn how to accurately identify feelings. Help kids experience their emotions in a healthy way without censoring or judging their reaction or problems.

Be present with your children:  Once they know how to express their feelings, make sure you take time to listen!  Set aside time, even if it’s only a few minutes after school, to give your child your full, undivided attention.

Help them learn from mistakes:  Encourage them to take appropriate risks even if it means making mistakes.  When parents encourage risk taking and accept failure, they are teaching kids how to be kind and patient with themselves.

Be a positive role model by nurturing your own self-esteem:  When they hear stories about you taking risks, surviving failure, or doing something that made you proud of yourself, they’re likely to do the same.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help:  Sometimes even our best efforts aren’t enough to insure a child’s healthy self esteem.  If you have concerns talk to their pediatrician or a therapist with training in pediatric mental health issues.